New here: erections and libido lagging, high BP and lipids

[ATL713]

Hi- Just wanted to thank everyone who shares information here, it's been great to learn, and I thought I would share my story in case it's helpful to anyone.

I'm 43 and married. We have a great sex life even with a young child, having sex about twice a week. Together for 12 years, all is good. I also was a pretty regular consumer of online porn and masturbation, partaking in that on most nights. In some ways, it was just a routine for me. Wife goes to bed, I fire up the pronhub. A couple months ago I realized that the porn wasn't really exciting me like it used it. It felt good and all, but it just wasn't very compelling. I would search and search for something that really got me going, and that was taking more and more time.

I also noticed that my libido was lagging. I still enjoyed sex, I just didn't think about it nearly as much as I used to, didn't crave it like I once did. Additionally, orgasms felt less intense. My erections were also lagging a bit - it would take longer to get fully hard, and I would lose my erection faster. My penis felt less sensitive. I used to be able to get hard just by thinking about sex, but no longer. My refractory period also increased; I used to be able to go back-to-back pretty quickly. Now sometimes on my second try with my wife I just couldn't orgasm unless I used my hand and really went after it. There also just feels like there is less blood in my penis these days when I'm not erect. It feels kinda empty.

I've been taking my blood pressure regularly and it's in the 135/85 range. My lipids are not great: 273 mg/dL, triglycerides 213 mg/dL, HDL 57 mg/dL, LDL 173.4 mg/dL. Honestly my diet isn't great either. I have too much of a sweet tooth, and consume too much sugar on a daily basis. I frequently eat snacks right before bed, often times frozen meals that are super high in fat and sodium. Or I would go get fast food late at night. A couple of glasses of wine per night. I eat lunch out every day. Fortunately, my wife cooks healthy dinners. I'm not overweight, and am in pretty good shape – play sports several times a week and lift once a week. I've been about the same weight, +/- 5 lbs, for the past 5+ years.

Anyway, it's the erection stuff that bothers me most and that's how I found this board. I want to feel like my penis is full again. I want to have that strong libido again, and be able to go back-to-back with my wife like I used to. I want to be able to get erections quickly again.

My plan right now is to quit porn and masturbation, only orgasm during sex. I'm now taking a multivitimin and fish oil, and I'm really trying to clean up my diet. Much less sugar, less fat, less sodium, less alcohol. I ordered the letsgettested.com men's sexual health test so I can get some T/E/SHBG, etc. numbers. And I'm considering trying the Nature's Way DIM+ to see if that might boost me up a bit.

It's tough not to be impatient to get back to where I was just a few months ago, but I know this stuff can take time. I'll post my progress here. Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for any insights or tips.

 

[Belekas]

Thats an easy right of the bat solution to get healthier and feel 10x better is to fix your diet and eating patterns for once and for all. That alone will make you feel like a new person. Cut out all the processed garbage like those frozen meals that are high in fat, carbs and sodium. They are pure poison and nasty stuff. Get some healthy meals they come in frozen shape as well, should be plenty of that around. But mainly should prepare all your food at home. Real food- real results. If you like snacking, like probably most do, then go for low fat snacks. Mixing high carbs with high fat is never a good idea. Your lipids will get better as you get healthier. Also that should impact your erections and libido to the better. Considering your BP is not too high and not much of a problem yet as it needs to be taken 3 times per day, relaxed, with 3 times per one go with couple minute intervals, do figure out your weekly avarage. It should get better with you getting healthier and improving all the other markers FWIW. Everything takes time, and I think you shouldn't mess with DIM either. Cut %, focus more on yourself and eventually, with time, things should improve and go your way. It's all a process and there isn't an easy way out or a shortcut. Get a good plan and strategy and execute religiously.

Hang in there and best of luck!

Regards,
Bel

p.s. remember the key is to eat more of the healthy food and not to enter a starvation mode with a few healthy meals per day. That will tank your overall wellness, libido and hormones even more. Also more gym, more movement and less BS and you should be alright. Take your time.

 

[bixt]

My plan right now is to quit porn and masturbation, only orgasm during sex

Im glad you have figured out 100% the root of your listed erection, libido, refractory and orgasm issues.

Your plan IS the best plan, keep strong and stick to it and you will be fine in some months to a year at most.

 

[t_spacemonkey]

i'm 44. sex 2x a week your T is not optimized. we do every single day

 

[ATL713]

Im glad you have figured out 100% the root of your listed erection, libido, refractory and orgasm issues.

Your plan IS the best plan, keep strong and stick to it and you will be fine in some months to a year at most.

Hi Bixt,

I’m curious, what makes you think the porn use is the sole issue? And why do you think it takes months/year for that to resolve? I was hoping it would be faster, of course…

Thanks,
ATL

 

[ATL713]

Thats an easy right of the bat solution to get healthier and feel 10x better is to fix your diet and eating patterns for once and for all. That alone will make you feel like a new person. Cut out all the processed garbage like those frozen meals that are high in fat, carbs and sodium. They are pure poison and nasty stuff. Get some healthy meals they come in frozen shape as well, should be plenty of that around. But mainly should prepare all your food at home. Real food- real results. If you like snacking, like probably most do, then go for low fat snacks. Mixing high carbs with high fat is never a good idea. Your lipids will get better as you get healthier. Also that should impact your erections and libido to the better. Considering your BP is not too high and not much of a problem yet as it needs to be taken 3 times per day, relaxed, with 3 times per one go with couple minute intervals, do figure out your weekly avarage. It should get better with you getting healthier and improving all the other markers FWIW. Everything takes time, and I think you shouldn't mess with DIM either. Cut %, focus more on yourself and eventually, with time, things should improve and go your way. It's all a process and there isn't an easy way out or a shortcut. Get a good plan and strategy and execute religiously.

Hang in there and best of luck!

Regards,
Bel

p.s. remember the key is to eat more of the healthy food and not to enter a starvation mode with a few healthy meals per day. That will tank your overall wellness, libido and hormones even more. Also more gym, more movement and less BS and you should be alright. Take your time.

Hi Bel,

Thanks for the input and encouragement. I would agree, I think cutting out that junk food and cutting down on sugar are easy improvements to make. They should improve my lipids, and I hope they improve my erections. Right now the empty feeling I have in my penis most the time is distressing. I understand this stuff takes time; sometimes it’s hard not to be impatient and want results sooner.

I’ll hold off of the DIM for now.

- ATL

 

[Systemlord]

In my opinion, sugar is public enemy number one and the FDA has cold feet about labeling sugar a public health problem because companies stand to lose big.

Sugar doesn’t increase testosterone, if anything if slows down metabolic processes in the body.

Married men see larger declines in testosterone when compared to single men or men with a different women on a frequent basis.

Testosterone declines even more if you have children. It’s all part of natures grand plan to ensuring you stick around (instead of sleeping around) to raise your children.

 

[bixt]

Hi Bixt,

I’m curious, what makes you think the porn use is the sole issue? And why do you think it takes months/year for that to resolve? I was hoping it would be faster, of course…

Thanks,
ATL

Check out NoFap on Reddit and yourbrainonporn.com and they will explain it in much more detail than I can. Specifically read the science based articles which talk about your brains reward circuitry, dopamine desensitisation, receptor desensitisation, rewired and dysfunctional reward pathways and the relationship to orgasm and prolactin.

Secondly, sure, you can bypass the above and up your rest dose, use DHT or Tren and carry on the porn party, but eventually it all grinds to a halt. Your brain needs a new fetish, a new stimulus. Trust me, I (not proudly) speak from experience.

Everyone wants a quick fix, pop a pill (viagra) or take an injection but are not prepared to give up porn. Why? They are heavily addicted. It’s worse than heroin and benzos.

 

[Belekas]

Hi Bel,

Thanks for the input and encouragement. I would agree, I think cutting out that junk food and cutting down on sugar are easy improvements to make. They should improve my lipids, and I hope they improve my erections. Right now the empty feeling I have in my penis most the time is distressing. I understand this stuff takes time; sometimes it’s hard not to be impatient and want results sooner.

I’ll hold off of the DIM for now.

- ATL

You're welcome. But it's not that easy as you might think. If it would be that easy everyone would be in great shape, healthy and living their best life. Reallity is far from that and on the opposite end of scope. Main thing to change is your mindset. Without it being in proper place none of this is possible to achieve and not even talking about to maintain. What's easy is usually not worth having. I think you heard this one before, but it's true. Thing is that all people want fast results. Everybody wants an easy fix and nobody wants to do the hard yards, which is exactly what matters in the end. We all have our issues. The key is to live with solutions > problems. Most of us are actually moving towards the inevitable but in our minds we dream and wish to be somewhere else. And that's when we get in trouble. Knowing something and doing what needs to be done religiously are two different things. And it's not enough to know. We must execute. Get in love with the process. Fail, try again and fail better. And only then we have a fair chance to see how fucked up we actually are/were, if you get my point. Also as we get older we must understand that we are not getting younger thus thats exactly why we must do everything whats humanly possible to be as healthy as we can be to enjoy whats left of our lives.

Hope you do the right things and decide to conquer your mind and body and your issues improve. Remember solutions > problems. Hang in there and best of luck!

Regards,
Bel

 

[ATL713]

Check out NoFap on Reddit and yourbrainonporn.com and they will explain it in much more detail than I can. Specifically read the science based articles which talk about your brains reward circuitry, dopamine desensitisation, receptor desensitisation, rewired and dysfunctional reward pathways and the relationship to orgasm and prolactin.

Secondly, sure, you can bypass the above and up your rest dose, use DHT or Tren and carry on the porn party, but eventually it all grinds to a halt. Your brain needs a new fetish, a new stimulus. Trust me, I (not proudly) speak from experience.

Everyone wants a quick fix, pop a pill (viagra) or take an injection but are not prepared to give up porn. Why? They are heavily addicted. It’s worse than heroin and benzos.

Thank you. I read through some of that material and a lot of it tracks with my experience. I first noticed that my orgasms were less powerful awhile back. Then I noticed a drop in libido. Then I noticed my erections were less than 100%. Then it was harder to orgasm. And then porn didn’t do anything anymore for me.

Fortunately, I still can perform fairly well with my wife. I noticed a difference, but I don’t think she does. Even had sex twice yesterday without any issues.

Still, I’m terrified my old performance won’t come back. That my penis will just feel “empty” forever and I’ll never get that fullness back. That it will remain shriveled up when flaccid. Or the easy erections will never return. It keeps me up at night.

Right now, I can’t get an erection thinking about sex and I can’t get one stimulating myself. My dick feels like a piece of rubber. It’s unresponsive. It’s freaking me out.

I guess there is no way to really know except to go through the process. I can tell you I’m 100% committed to quitting porn.

 

[Zaskar]

i'm 44. sex 2x a week your T is not optimized. we do every single day

I wouldn’t jump and say his T isn’t optimized. There are lots of other things that control libido , not just T! Smh

 

[Hyrulewarrior1978]

I wouldn’t jump and say his T isn’t optimized. There are lots of other things that control libido , not just T! Smh

Lol I love how people throw around the word optimized. Like what does that even mean? Optimized based on what? The word “optimize” is mostly there for use as a marketing term for trt clinics.

 

[ATL713]

I'm just about a month into quitting porn and masturbation (PMO), so I thought I would stop in and share how it's going in case it's helpful for anyone.

What's still not good: geez it just feels like I have no blood in my penis. Limp dick. It kinda drives me crazy, especially at night when I have time to think about it. My libido still isn't where it once was.

I've noticed a small amount of libido increase. When I go 3-4 days without sex with my wife (and that's the only time I orgasm now) it definitely starts to build up and I start craving sex and thinking about it more, which is nice.

After a few days off without an orgasm, sexual functioning is pretty good. I get an erection easier now than I did before, and it's pretty strong. If I am not careful I will orgasm pretty quickly.

I do notice that right after I have sex, everything just flatlines. My dick feels non-functional. For the next day I have no libido. Then it starts to come back the following day (2 days after sex).

I really haven't had much craving for porn. I guess that's a nice benefit of the lower libido.

Right now the biggest thing that is bothering me is my penis feeling empty, and also I can't recover as well as I did before after orgasm. And I'm still hoping for my libido to return a bit. But I know this can take some time, so I'm doing my best to stay patient.

Best,
ATL

 

[Golfboy307]

Reading back on this thread, OP, did you ever share your hormone results from the lab tests?

 

[Belekas]

Hey ATL713.

FWIW I certainly doubt that porn and mast is an issue but this is just my personal opinion and experience, so take it with a grain of salt. These days people are softer then butter in general so you will find and read that everything is bad and wrong and whatever. Now plus all the research and other stuff regarding this or that and folks get lost. I did both and never ever had issues with TRT and without TRT. Always had a high sex drive and always had a high libido FWIW. Now, for me personally libido and dick fullness is highly correlated with being well fed and nourished, if that makes sense. So I must eat a lot of good food, hydrate, have some cheat meals here and there to be in a good spot mentally and physically. Working out and cardio does add the benefits as well, plus staying as healthy as possible as we don't get younger going forward. A lot of people will neglect eating healthy and living a healthy lifestyle because they feel good NOW and then years, decades later, when shit hits the fan, they start getting issues left and right and start chasing what took them many many years to lose. You see where I'm coming from with this one? We all have unique genetics, lifestyles, environments, stress levels, health, bad habits etc, etc, etc. Some have high libido and sex drive and can live near the dumpster half their lifes, others need to work on to maintain their sexual functions just to be able to perform at the acceptable level. Now don't get me wrong, this is not directed to you or anyone else, just in general what I think is happening and how certain things fall into place. It's always the context that matters. I can watch porn all day long, can not watch porn for years, without any problem giving it up and still I will have high sexual functions FWIW, cause its all in my head. I don't need no stimulation to perform and hopefully will never do but like I said, we ain't getting younger, so I'm trying to live as healthy as I can, do as much as I can to get healthier, workout, do my cardio, educate myself and be my own GP. Having said that how is your diet? Body composition? Labs? Training? Sleep? Bad habits? Late nights? Night outs? Etc, etc, etc. This is a multifactorial issue and without deep context its like shooting darts in the dark. You should def focus on looking forward and not hanging on "how it used to be" because it's gone. Solutions > Problems all day everyday and without putting in the hard work, doing the hard yards, I doubt that anything similar like before will magically re-apear

Hope you push through and get what you want in life. We always here to try and help where/if we can.

Regards,
Bel

 

[Shelbyclay]

I'm just about a month into quitting porn and masturbation (PMO), so I thought I would stop in and share how it's going in case it's helpful for anyone.

What's still not good: geez it just feels like I have no blood in my penis. Limp dick. It kinda drives me crazy, especially at night when I have time to think about it. My libido still isn't where it once was.

I've noticed a small amount of libido increase. When I go 3-4 days without sex with my wife (and that's the only time I orgasm now) it definitely starts to build up and I start craving sex and thinking about it more, which is nice.

After a few days off without an orgasm, sexual functioning is pretty good. I get an erection easier now than I did before, and it's pretty strong. If I am not careful I will orgasm pretty quickly.

I do notice that right after I have sex, everything just flatlines. My dick feels non-functional. For the next day I have no libido. Then it starts to come back the following day (2 days after sex).

I really haven't had much craving for porn. I guess that's a nice benefit of the lower libido.

Right now the biggest thing that is bothering me is my penis feeling empty, and also I can't recover as well as I did before after orgasm. And I'm still hoping for my libido to return a bit. But I know this can take some time, so I'm doing my best to stay patient.

Best,
ATL

Just thought I would chip in here because I was in the same place at that age. Eating fast food daily and enjoying life, working out and having sex two to three times a week. I was having no problems, (I thought), until my wife started her hormone replacement therapy. I accompanied her to one of her monthly appointments and was talked into having my blood checked. It wasn't bad, just not good. T was 480. The lady hormone tech said I should be in the 900 to a thousand range. Told me I wasn't supposed to be in the "Old Man" range if I wanted to feel and act like a young man. That made sense so I let her shoot me up with 200 mg of test C every two weeks
It was unbelievable, what it did. I was Happy! walked around whistling a tune with a smile on my face for months. Getting it on with my wife twice a day, morning and evening. I felt guilty for a while, thinking I was abusing her but after talking it out she assured me she was quite happy with the way things were.
I also made startling gains at the gym. I had flatlined out for a few years. I had to look twice to make sure i was using the right weights, the old weight was just too easy.
I bulked up quickly in three months and kept gaining.
A few drawbacks. I wasn't getting enough at home. Picked up a girlfriend or two. It took a few years but I picked up religion and got rid of the gf's, not all at once but they're gone now.
Ten years later,
Just lately, two years ago, wife talked me into joining her on a keto diet. gave up sugar and starchy foods for meat and green veggies. I love meat so it wasn't too hard after the first month. I'm sold on it now. Lost 15 lbs, mostly my beer belly. No one should say low fat diet is good for you. That's pure ignorance. It is what has led to the obesity epidemic in the US.
I'm, 76 now, still on TRT, 100 mg every 5 days from a 31 guage insulin needle syringe just under the skin. Still getting it 2 to three times a week, wife still enjoying it. Slowed down at the gym lately from a torn tendon. It seems the muscles and bones can keep building but not the tendons.
Wow, didn't mean to post my life story, ATL713, go ahead, start your TRT, watch your diet, screw your brains out. Life is good, enjoy it.
Shelby

 

[ATL713]

Reading back on this thread, OP, did you ever share your hormone results from the lab tests?

Good question. I haven't yet done the lab tests, should have them next week. I'll post when I get them back.

 

[ATL713]

Hi Bel,

Thank you for your thoughtful response. And you're absolutely right, I don't know that porn is my problem here. It's possible it's not. But also, it isn't like it contributes anything to my life, so why not get rid of it in case it is? However I do have to admit that after a few weeks it hasn't solved my issues. Of course maybe I need to give it more time.

I'll try to answer some of your questions here:

I'm 6'4", 195 lbs., what I would call athletic build. I don't have a gut, but I also don't have abs. I cycle about 15 miles a week, lift weights once a week, play basketball twice a week, and try to get 10,000 steps on the days when I don't do anything more active.

My diet has been not great great. Basically for 20 years I've been eating whatever I want. My wife cooks very healthy food at home for dinner. But I was regularly eating frozen meals late at night, high in sodium and fat. I've since cut those out. I also have cut back on fast food, to 1-2 times a week instead of 3-4.

For years I was eating dessert every day. Sometimes twice a day. I would have a cookie/brownie in the afternoon after eating lunch out, then maybe some ice cream after dinner. Not great. I've cut my dessert intake about in half in the past month. I don't generally drink sugar, I drink mostly unsweetened black and green tea.

As for drinking, I have probably 5-10 drinks spread throughout the week. Mainly red wine, occasionally beer, less frequently hard alcohol.

One thing to note. My libido/erection issues have coincided with back/shoulder/neck problems that I've been experience which haven't been fun, and they've resulted in a less-active lifestyle for me over the past couple months due to the discomfort. I've had recurrent pain, stiffness, and soreness in a particular area of my back that shoots up my neck. One day, I just woke up with it and it's been bothering me since. Not long after my sexual issues started and I've wondered if this inflammation, etc. might be causing my sexual issues. I'm currently seeing a chiropractor twice a week for adjustments. I think it's slowly getting better, but after a particularly physical basketball game I can be in pain for the next week. And then less active that week. During that same time period I've noticed fatigue, and a general listlessness.

Sleeping goes in waves for me. I tend to sleep 4-5 hours per night and then wake up. From there, sometimes I can get back to sleep after an hour or two of being up and get in a total of 8 hours. But I go through waves for whatever reason, I can't get back to sleep and I'm just up until I need to go to work and then I drag throughout the day. Over the past couple months my sleeping has been pretty solid, I'm generally getting 7-8 hours and not feeling tired during the day. I don't really stay out late.

I hope that provides some context. If you have any feedback, I'd love to hear it. This stuff is frustrating because the medical industry just doesn't seem set up to handle these issues. It seems like they want to prescribe viagra/TRT and send you on your way. I'd rather not use medication, but make the necessary lifestyle changes.

Thanks again,
ATL

Hey ATL713.

FWIW I certainly doubt that porn and mast is an issue but this is just my personal opinion and experience, so take it with a grain of salt. These days people are softer then butter in general so you will find and read that everything is bad and wrong and whatever. Now plus all the research and other stuff regarding this or that and folks get lost. I did both and never ever had issues with TRT and without TRT. Always had a high sex drive and always had a high libido FWIW. Now, for me personally libido and dick fullness is highly correlated with being well fed and nourished, if that makes sense. So I must eat a lot of good food, hydrate, have some cheat meals here and there to be in a good spot mentally and physically. Working out and cardio does add the benefits as well, plus staying as healthy as possible as we don't get younger going forward. A lot of people will neglect eating healthy and living a healthy lifestyle because they feel good NOW and then years, decades later, when shit hits the fan, they start getting issues left and right and start chasing what took them many many years to lose. You see where I'm coming from with this one? We all have unique genetics, lifestyles, environments, stress levels, health, bad habits etc, etc, etc. Some have high libido and sex drive and can live near the dumpster half their lifes, others need to work on to maintain their sexual functions just to be able to perform at the acceptable level. Now don't get me wrong, this is not directed to you or anyone else, just in general what I think is happening and how certain things fall into place. It's always the context that matters. I can watch porn all day long, can not watch porn for years, without any problem giving it up and still I will have high sexual functions FWIW, cause its all in my head. I don't need no stimulation to perform and hopefully will never do but like I said, we ain't getting younger, so I'm trying to live as healthy as I can, do as much as I can to get healthier, workout, do my cardio, educate myself and be my own GP. Having said that how is your diet? Body composition? Labs? Training? Sleep? Bad habits? Late nights? Night outs? Etc, etc, etc. This is a multifactorial issue and without deep context its like shooting darts in the dark. You should def focus on looking forward and not hanging on "how it used to be" because it's gone. Solutions > Problems all day everyday and without putting in the hard work, doing the hard yards, I doubt that anything similar like before will magically re-apear

Hope you push through and get what you want in life. We always here to try and help where/if we can.

Regards,
Bel

 

[sammmy]

Go to a neurologist and do MRI while your back is hurting to see if there is a structural problem in the spine or there are signs of infection. Damage of the nervous system can cause sexual problems. Fatigue can be a sign of activated immune system fighting infection.

 

[ATL713]

I was able to get my results:

Estradiol - 17 pg/ml
Testosterone - 555 ng/dl
SHBG - 50 nmol/L
Free androgen index - 38.52
Free T - 9.1 ng/dL

These all fall within the “normal” range, for a 43/M. But the free t and free androgen are on the low side.

If anyone has any thoughts/insights, I’d love to hear them. Thanks!

ATL