Abonicex
Member
Edit: I edited the message to add my labs. Those are my last labs pre TRT. I still don't have labs post-TRT. I've only taken two shots, one of sustanon, and one of enanthate.
I was prescribed first by an urologist 1 ml of 250mg/ml sustanon every 3 weeks, then by an endocrinologist 1 ml of 250 mg/ml enanthate every 3 weeks.
I understand both of these protocols are bad, but, well, I've followed the orders. I was thinking even from before this post to take the next shot earlier. I just need it.
I definitely felt the effects very fast, one day after the shot with sustanon, prob two with enanthate. tho yeah, still far from how i was before. Sustanon honestly felt amazing, for two whole days.
---
I lost my testcles to a chemical accident.
To a dumb chemical accident.
I feel horrible since then.
I'm now on trt but I still don't see the full effects.
But I feel like crap anyway. Regardless of feeling the T or not.
I feel I've lost my manhood and have to pay a rent for being a man. I feel like a fraud and an impostor. I feel like I am not the person people think I am. and if they see the real me they don't like me, understandably. I cry very often, feel disgraced, want to stop living. I don't do anything during the day. Nothing seems relevant nor important.
I feel fake, false, ugly, and impostor, a cheater, etc.
I didn't think a lot of this gender sex stuff before. But now that I lost it, I see how much being a man was important. And i didn't realize how virile I was. Now my hair is falling from my scrotum, my beard too, i feel weak and nervous the whole time. I eat like a pig and keep gaining and gaining weight. I can't control my appetite. Before TRT i was getting anemia and couldn't sleep.
I can't relate to women nor to men. I feel so weird with both. Young women make me blush often. And I'm a grown man. It's so shameful. Men make me nervous a lot of the time too. It's so ugly and uncomfortable. I feel out of place.
I have other chronic illnesses ... and when I finally felt real improvement this happens to me. I feel so miserable. Like living a bad joke.
In a near future I'm pretty sure there won't be pharmaceuticals and it panics me what's going to happen. Where am I going to get T? I don't want to die without T. That'd be one of my few petitions.
I live in Mexico and no one is on trt here. Pharmacies just carry sustanon and enanthate of one brand, and only two of them. I feel alone. No one understands me nor will there be someone once there's no T.
It horrifies me to be dependent on a medication. It's one of the things I always wanted to avoid in my life. And here I am now in such situation.
Anyone has gone through this too? I feel alone and miserable and trapped.
Losing my testicles is like the second worst thing that has happened to me. And I know I have gone through a kind of suffering most people will never go through. Sometimes I wonder if I am cursed or if I am a great sinner.
I was prescribed first by an urologist 1 ml of 250mg/ml sustanon every 3 weeks, then by an endocrinologist 1 ml of 250 mg/ml enanthate every 3 weeks.
I understand both of these protocols are bad, but, well, I've followed the orders. I was thinking even from before this post to take the next shot earlier. I just need it.
I definitely felt the effects very fast, one day after the shot with sustanon, prob two with enanthate. tho yeah, still far from how i was before. Sustanon honestly felt amazing, for two whole days.
---
I lost my testcles to a chemical accident.
To a dumb chemical accident.
I feel horrible since then.
I'm now on trt but I still don't see the full effects.
But I feel like crap anyway. Regardless of feeling the T or not.
I feel I've lost my manhood and have to pay a rent for being a man. I feel like a fraud and an impostor. I feel like I am not the person people think I am. and if they see the real me they don't like me, understandably. I cry very often, feel disgraced, want to stop living. I don't do anything during the day. Nothing seems relevant nor important.
I feel fake, false, ugly, and impostor, a cheater, etc.
I didn't think a lot of this gender sex stuff before. But now that I lost it, I see how much being a man was important. And i didn't realize how virile I was. Now my hair is falling from my scrotum, my beard too, i feel weak and nervous the whole time. I eat like a pig and keep gaining and gaining weight. I can't control my appetite. Before TRT i was getting anemia and couldn't sleep.
I can't relate to women nor to men. I feel so weird with both. Young women make me blush often. And I'm a grown man. It's so shameful. Men make me nervous a lot of the time too. It's so ugly and uncomfortable. I feel out of place.
I have other chronic illnesses ... and when I finally felt real improvement this happens to me. I feel so miserable. Like living a bad joke.
In a near future I'm pretty sure there won't be pharmaceuticals and it panics me what's going to happen. Where am I going to get T? I don't want to die without T. That'd be one of my few petitions.
I live in Mexico and no one is on trt here. Pharmacies just carry sustanon and enanthate of one brand, and only two of them. I feel alone. No one understands me nor will there be someone once there's no T.
It horrifies me to be dependent on a medication. It's one of the things I always wanted to avoid in my life. And here I am now in such situation.
Anyone has gone through this too? I feel alone and miserable and trapped.
Losing my testicles is like the second worst thing that has happened to me. And I know I have gone through a kind of suffering most people will never go through. Sometimes I wonder if I am cursed or if I am a great sinner.
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