ED Problem

[KSM]

I am 43 , Having ED for quiet some time now .I started masterbation I don't know when perhaps 4th or 5th grade ,
I wast used to masterbate by rubbing penis on the bed . Had good errection but suddenly felt it decline when i was around 15 , I got scared cried had gut feeling that it happened cause of masterbation .got this feeling deeper that I am impotent now . Though had a very strong desire for opposite sex .
Meanwhile I went into depression and till now from last 17 yrs I am on antidepressant . I got married when was 32 , now father of two kids as well , I started using VG in early days of my marriage some times was good without medicine ,but mostly 75 errection during intercourse.i always hav fear that it will go down and and am really unable to sustain it for good enough time .also there is no orgasam when I discharge during intercourse

i discussed with various doctors but to no effect , at my own got testosterone test and found it at lowest ebb like below normal something 162. Till the day I found this web site and found a hope as if I can come back to my normal errection days . I need you professionals to help me in areas

1- is there a way I can have my errection back ?I still have it 75% , some time have it in night while sleeping .but can't sustain it and doesn't have orgasam during intercourse . However love to masterbate as it gives me pleasure
2-is there a way I can bring back my T level back to normal i am scared to used medicine as or TRT . Heard it causes prostrate cancer and other side effect . I hope if there could some natural way to restore.
3- Does Normal T level is inevitable for good errection ? I don't need more kids just want sex only with perfection
3-My Doctor says My ED is psychological since I am good with VG and not physical . I don't know .

please guide me and help out , I am sure if can have errection normal , I will overcome my depression as well .


Please ask anything for clarity as my English is not good and may require clarity

 

[Vince]

Depression meds will lower your testosterone, but if you need it you should take it. There is a post on raising your testosterone naturally.
https://www.excelmale.com/forum/showthread.php?674-Can-i-increase-testosterone-naturally

 

[CoastWatcher]

We want to help you, but will need some more information. I realize you live in Alberta, I live in Toronto, so I have an understanding of the Canadian healthcare system.

When did you have your testosterone level checked? What was the result, the actual number? If you have the ranges, please post them as well.

What other blood tests were run? Post those results, with the ranges.

What medications and supplements have you taken, and what are you taking at the present time?

Your height and weight?

Finally, testosterone replacement therapy, in and of itself, does not cause prostate cancer.

Please respond to these questions and we will begin this discussion.

 

[ERO]

if your Total T is actually 162, it is safe to say your ED is not all psychological. All recent blood test results would be helpful to the discussion.

 

[KSM]

I had my tests a year a ago , so please advise me new tests you want me to undergo ?
2- it was primarily anti depressents like parcel ,now a days ecitalopram 30 mg with Vyvanse30mg , I never took supplement but it's B-12 1000mg 1daily as per given by GP .
3- My height is 178 and weight is87KG


thanks

 

[ERO]

Nelson has an excellent post on what blood work is needed here: https://www.excelmale.com/forum/sho...e-and-During-Testosterone-Replacement-Therapy

 

[Mountain Man]

Your Ed problem is multifaceted.There are a number of issues that you can address:

1. You T levels are low, no doubt. Cleaning up your diet and doing some of the things Vince recommended in that link is a good start.
2. You need a good MD who specializes in men's health, preferably a urologist.
3. TRT won;t necessarily lead to erections, but it will raise your sex drive.
4. This is the biggest reason. You are depressed and this is a huge reason for the ED.Consider the way you speak to yourself about yourself. You have all the symptoms.
5. You need to work with a psychotherapist. Throwing medications at depression is not a good treatment method. Meds alone seldom help with chronic depression. There is a point where the brain adjusts to medications and the benefits will diminish slightly. The negative way you think and your low self esteem make this even worse.
6. You're on an antidepressant. All antidepressants can cause ED. If you are on an antidepressant in the SSRI class-prozac, celexa, zoloft, or paxil it is even more likely. If you are on for 17 years it is inevitable.
5. Masturbation isn't the greatest idea. This is a behavior that has become part of your sexual routine.Chronic masturbation, especially with porn, creates a conditioned response where one's body "learns" a sexual response that is associated with artificial conditions. Guys who masturbate to porn condition themselves to unrealistic expectations in the real world. Many guys are disappointed that their real partners don't look or act like the women on the videos. If your masturbating, get a willing partner to do it for you.
6.You need an understanding partner, one that cares enough about you to work with this.For many couples, this is a fun and pleasurable experience, one that brings them closer. Google sensate focus, a behavioral technique that re-conditions the sexual response for how to start.
7. Your MD is way off saying it is purely psychological. It's not. However, this is a huge factor in your case. A therapist can help with this.
8. If your heart is healthy, meds for ED are highly effective if combined with all the previous suggestions.Get a full physical. If you get the MD's ok start with viagra. Standard dose in 50mg, but some urologists will allow up to 100mg. If it doesn't have the desired effect, there are injections and other things that can be done. Find a urologist that will work with you, not merely blow you off with the "It's psychological" BS.
9.Read about performance anxiety. There is a whole internal thought process that sets a guy up for failure in these situations.

And, lighten up on yourself. Some research indicates that 40% of men in their 40's have ED, 50% in their 50's, 60% in their 60's ect have ED much of the time, so your not alone.

Sex is a natural part of life and nothing to be ashamed of. A good, and healthy sex life is a part of physical and emotional wellness. Follow these suggestions, as they will work. I am a therapist by profession and specialize in men's issues. This is one of them. Don't give up, and don't waste one of the natural joys of life on yourself. Find a woman, or man if so inclined, to share this experience with.

Let us know how these go or PM me if your uncomfortable using a post.

 

[CoastWatcher]

Your Ed problem is multifaceted.There are a number of issues that you can address:

1. You T levels are low, no doubt. Cleaning up your diet and doing some of the things Vince recommended in that link is a good start.
2. You need a good MD who specializes in men's health, preferably a urologist.
3. TRT won;t necessarily lead to erections, but it will raise your sex drive.
4. This is the biggest reason. You are depressed and this is a huge reason for the ED.Consider the way you speak to yourself about yourself. You have all the symptoms.
5. You need to work with a psychotherapist. Throwing medications at depression is not a good treatment method. Meds alone seldom help with chronic depression. There is a point where the brain adjusts to medications and the benefits will diminish slightly. The negative way you think and your low self esteem make this even worse.
6. You're on an antidepressant. All antidepressants can cause ED. If you are on an antidepressant in the SSRI class-prozac, celexa, zoloft, or paxil it is even more likely. If you are on for 17 years it is inevitable.
5. Masturbation isn't the greatest idea. This is a behavior that has become part of your sexual routine.Chronic masturbation, especially with porn, creates a conditioned response where one's body "learns" a sexual response that is associated with artificial conditions. Guys who masturbate to porn condition themselves to unrealistic expectations in the real world. Many guys are disappointed that their real partners don't look or act like the women on the videos. If your masturbating, get a willing partner to do it for you.
6.You need an understanding partner, one that cares enough about you to work with this.For many couples, this is a fun and pleasurable experience, one that brings them closer. Google sensate focus, a behavioral technique that re-conditions the sexual response for how to start.
7. Your MD is way off saying it is purely psychological. It's not. However, this is a huge factor in your case. A therapist can help with this.
8. If your heart is healthy, meds for ED are highly effective if combined with all the previous suggestions.Get a full physical. If you get the MD's ok start with viagra. Standard dose in 50mg, but some urologists will allow up to 100mg. If it doesn't have the desired effect, there are injections and other things that can be done. Find a urologist that will work with you, not merely blow you off with the "It's psychological" BS.
9.Read about performance anxiety. There is a whole internal thought process that sets a guy up for failure in these situations.

And, lighten up on yourself. Some research indicates that 40% of men in their 40's have ED, 50% in their 50's, 60% in their 60's ect have ED much of the time, so your not alone.

Sex is a natural part of life and nothing to be ashamed of. A good, and healthy sex life is a part of physical and emotional wellness. Follow these suggestions, as they will work. I am a therapist by profession and specialize in men's issues. This is one of them. Don't give up, and don't waste one of the natural joys of life on yourself. Find a woman, or man if so inclined, to share this experience with.

Let us know how these go or PM me if your uncomfortable using a post.

This is perfectly phrased, on the money advice and commentary. I hope you'll take these points to heart. If you are able I would urge you to find another doctor. I realize that the ins and outs of the Canadian healthcare system are daunting, but they can be navigated. I have done it, and I'm sure you can.

 

[KSM]

HI Vince
please suggest which exercise you want me to do
is there any supplement you can recommend me for zinc and copper combination you mentioned

 

[KSM]

1- what is cleaning up diet means . can i have any article hat i can used to clean up diet .
2- i am new in Calgary just one year back came from Pakistan. Need your help if can have right urologist here who is also specialist in men issues .
3-Do you think psychotherapist along psychiatrist can help me getting rid of antidepressant .Or there is any way i can get rid of antidepressant in life ?
4- i dont have partner as we broke up now few months ago . finding a new partner and telling her my problem eventually convincing her to cooperate and help i dont think it will work for me . especially doing sex without marriage is taboo in my faith .My only option is masturbation after a week or so . which i can do without watching porn?
5- My blood pressure is 110 /70 ,i am good with Viagra .even at times dont need .

 

[lcvl]

1- what is cleaning up diet means .

Consume unprocessed foods most of the time. Drink plenty of water.

Each meal should be based on some lean protein and plenty of vegetables. Add fruit as snacks throughout the day. Add "heavier" carbs (rice, oats, quinoa, sweet potatoes, etc.) only on the days you're more physically active. If you're sitting at a desk most of the day probably you don't need complex carbs at all.

 

[Mountain Man]

1- what is cleaning up diet means . can i have any article hat i can used to clean up diet .
2- i am new in Calgary just one year back came from Pakistan. Need your help if can have right urologist here who is also specialist in men issues .
3-Do you think psychotherapist along psychiatrist can help me getting rid of antidepressant .Or there is any way i can get rid of antidepressant in life ?
4- i dont have partner as we broke up now few months ago . finding a new partner and telling her my problem eventually convincing her to cooperate and help i dont think it will work for me . especially doing sex without marriage is taboo in my faith .My only option is masturbation after a week or so . which i can do without watching porn?
5- My blood pressure is 110 /70 ,i am good with Viagra .even at times dont need .

Your problem is a little more complex than you led us to believe. There are certainly medical reasons for what you are struggling with, but psychological and cultural reasons are also factors.

A psychiatrist and a good psychotherapists are necessary. They can get you off the antidepressants, if that's possible. If it is not possible, there are some antidepressants that may be a better fit for you. Something out of the SSRI class, such as bupropion, may be a good fit. Do not come off your antidepressants on your own. Depending what you are on, there can be problems. It is not safe to do so, trust me on this. Try to see a psychiatrist and not a primary care physician for this problem.

If your doctor cannot give you an appointment soon, buy some Viagra online and see if it works for you. You would probably want to start with a dose of 25 mg, if that doesn't work next time try 50 mg. Do some research on how to take it safely. See a doctor for this problem as soon as possible. You should be working with urologist for this problem.

As far as the fears you have about finding a partner, you have to be more realistic. If you take the time to nurture a relationship with a good woman, this should not be a problem. If you invest time in a relationship, and she doesn't want to work with you through this, then she's not the woman for you. You'd be surprised at how many women are out there that would want you for who you are as a person first, then a sexual partner later. Many couples consider this to be something that they will work through together. It's the 21st century, online dating has opened up a huge opportunity for people to meet potential partners. Keep in mind that you have more to offer a woman than your penis.

The taboo on sex outside of marriage is a little more complicated. Religions historically have advocated for this. There is an historic reason. All religions, in their early days, feared dying out and were overly concerned with building up their numbers. The only reason they advocated no sex outside of marriage was so that they could ensure that any children that they are male members fathered would become members of that religion. Despite what the Bible, Koran, and other religious texts will say, that's the historic reason. If you are a regular practitioner of a religion, you may want to speak to a member of your clergy. He may, or may not, be supportive. You ultimately may want to follow your own conscience on whether or not you engage in sex outside of marriage.

The culture from which you come from, and most organized religions, have very archaic beliefs about sex, sexuality, and relations outside of marriage. This screws up a lot of people, both male and female. Having a taboo about sex, masturbation, and relationships can set us up for a belief that sex is a forbidden activity. This belief alone is responsible for a lot of ED that some men suffer from. I suspect it's a pretty big factor in your case as well.

My theoretical orientation as a therapist is primarily cognitive behavioral. The porn/masturbation connection is a behavior that, although you won't be able to stop it entirely, you do need to control. Engaging in this behavior as your exclusive sex activity, will make it difficult to engage with a partner. When you do engage in this activity try to use your imagination rather than porn. As I stated previously, porn sets up a very unrealistic expectations for women that you will eventually have sex with, and how you will perform as well. In the Internet age, pornography sets up a lot of the young men for unrealistic expectations that only a handful of people can actually meet. Consider these porn stars as actors, because that's what they are. Comparing the size of your penis to theirs, or your partner's body to the women on the screen, is unrealistic. It's like a guy that works out at the gym feeling like a failure because he doesn't look like Ronnie Coleman. It just ain't going to happen.

From what I've read that you have posted, you are suffering from anxiety as well as depression. A previous post about your son's penis size indicates that you are projecting a lot of your own anxiety onto him. Don't do that. You have to realize that there's nothing wrong with him, and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU! This is a medical problem that you would deal with, not a moral, religious, or masculine failure.

Work on this medical problem, work with a therapist, and start feeling positive about yourself. You are over thinking this way too much. You're not flawed or defective, you just another guy who needs to build up his confidence from physical, emotional, and spiritual perspective. Many of us have been there before, and will probably be there again. Part of masculinity is being aware of what your faults are and working to overcome them.

The right woman will eventually come into your life, but you should not wait until conditions are perfect for you to find them. Find someone to build a relationship with, grow together as a couple, and if this problem is still there-which it probably won't be if you follow the steps-it won't just be your problem. I've kind of been where you are right now in your life. I developed a relationship with a woman who accepted me for who I was, had one episode of ED. She said it didn't bother her, "next time," was her response. Because I knew that it was truly how she felt, I never had that problem again. Today I and 62 years old, have the wife that I never imagined I would have, and thanks to modern medicine, which includes TRT and ED medications, am having the best sex of my life.

Trust me buddy, there's nothing wrong with you. Stop over thinking this just get yourself into the game of life.

 

[KSM]

Mountain Man ! i have absolutely no words to thanks you . taking out so much time and writing me this detailed and great post , i cant pay you back at all but will always pray for your life health and happiness.
need to know 2 things
once you are at TRT , you need to continue for rest of life ?i mean its a complete treatment or you have to be with it all the life long .
ED medicine you are talking about in last lines is VG or some other as well

 

[Mountain Man]

Mountain Man ! i have absolutely no words to thanks you . taking out so much time and writing me this detailed and great post , i cant pay you back at all but will always pray for your life health and happiness.
need to know 2 things
once you are at TRT , you need to continue for rest of life ?i mean its a complete treatment or you have to be with it all the life long .
ED medicine you are talking about in last lines is VG or some other as well

Yes, they say you are supposed to be on it for life after you start. I'm not a doctor, but if you speak to someone is, there are ways that someone could come off if necessary. Once you get on, you may find that you don't want to.

I've had great success with both Viagra and Cialis. I prefer Cialis, usually taking 10 mg. The reason I like it is that I do have a partner, a wife of 30 years, and I do like the flexibility that it provides , giving me 36 hours in order to have sex.

Your starting to overthink this whole thing, just start doing this. Don't intellectualize, just do it.

And, you can pay me back by getting your life on track.