How do you deal with depression/stress

[PAUL-E]

Fist I would like to say there are some very inspiring people on the board taking a diagnosis like HIV and overcoming all that in tales whale helping others at the same time is inspirational.
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Normally I don't like talking about my personal life but I feel more conferrable in this setting because lets face it no one knows who I really am.
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My situation injured at work - surgery - diagnosed with CRPS - harassment at work - work place stopped offering me work - FCE= permanent restrictions - currently in between jobs (incredibly difficult finding any work within my restrictions) - financial stress(no income) - marital stress - increased body fat whale losing muscle mass - stress from CRPS being limited not able to do the kind of things I used to some examples: how I make love to my wife, play with my kids, shooting, exercise, last mothers day I was unable to maintain grip and hold a simple bag of natural wood lump charcoal.
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I used to deal with stress through weight lifting now I haven't been able to exercise the way I used to. I'm feeling incredibly frustrated/stressed so my question is how do you deal with stress and stay motivated what are the things that help you?
Thanks

 

[Vince]

I've never had to deal with truth depression, I've had many difficult times in my life. The death of my wife, a loss of a child, serious injuries and surgeries. I lost many awesome jobs. Having someone to lean really helps (family). Through it all I've always exercise, whatever I could do even if it was just walking. Long ago I made exercising part of my life and I believe it helps me made it through the hard times.

 

[PAUL-E]

Sorry to hear about your loss but glad your doing better. I'm in general a happy positive person, I feel the majority of my stress/depression is from feeling like I am failing letting my family down. I have also been through a lot in my life. I worked really hard to get where I am, I don't want to lose all I worked for or let my family down. I still exercise daily what I can anyways

 

[ERO]

I know it sounds too simple, but a few years back when I was very stressed to due both parents becoming ill and then passing in the same year, I found that walking was a huge stress helper. Especially walking outside when the weather cooperates but inside on a treadmill is great as well. I found that if I walked for an hour every day it helped both stress and sleep, which always suffers when you are stressed.

 

[PAUL-E]

I know in life shit happens and you just have to try and stay positive and keep moving forward I'm not trying to be like oh woe is me and I'm not looking for sympathy just for what helps you so I can try to incorporate new ideas in my life.

thanks for your input, now that the weather is nicer I'm looking forward to do more walking outside.

 

[Nelson Vergel]

I have gone through hell many times after coming to the US alone and broke, being told a year later that I would die of HIV, living with HIV for 33 years, then cancer, losing three partners and all my friends from the 80's to it, having several lumbar surgeries, being afraid to be deported and much more. I had dark times when I cried easily and did not want to wake up to deal with life. Only once I have thought about suicide after horrible pain after a botched back surgery. Days and weeks went by when everything looked dark and a sense of gloom ruled my life.

I have done the following to deal with it:

- Took Zoloft (tried 4 others but Zoloft was the only thing that took worry out of my head)
- Got my testosterone up (I had low T for years before 1993 and did not know it)
- Exercised (life savior and stress reliever)
- Had a massage once per week (when I got a good job to pay for it)
- Talk to friends (this does not work so well for me)
- Went to therapists (waste of money since I would take over and they let me)
- Took mindfulness meditation classes (those have stuck with me as I am really aware of the present moment)
- Took Landmark Education Forum (life saver and got me to motivate myself to do all the great things I have accomplished)
- Read many books but only found one that helped (The New Earth by Tolle)
- Volunteered in non-profits (great way to get out of your head)
- Avoided alcohol and drugs (depressants)
- Surrounded myself with good people and got rid off bad ones (this took time and self awareness of my destructive codependency)

I am now 57 and have been happy since I turned 50. This decade has been the most productive and amazing of my life as medical advancements, great people, and my online world helped me find my place in the world. When I have a challenge (I have had a few like extensive hand surgery and lymphoma during this decade) I tell myself "this too shall pass like everything else you have survived". It helps to have a great partner, a loving family and guys like many of you who send thank you emails that keep me motivated and aware of the importance of my work.

 

[Vince Carter]

my issues all stem from people, I do so much better when I keep people are arms length, as it were. I've always been more of an introvert, anyway. But I cope with my trust issues and so forth that way, keeping an eye on people, not letting people get too close, and things like that. Not the most advisable but I don't drink (much) or otherwise self-medicate with any other substances. I try to keep busy...TRT has helped a bunch were I felt unmotivated and stopped enjoying what had been very likable hobbies and activities.

 

[Xerxes]

Nelson, are you still on Zoloft? If not, how long did you use it? If so, how long did you start to feel a difference. I have an appt finally with a really good psychiatrist this Friday. I had tried Zoloft over a year ago (before TRT) and it didn;t really works..sides were hard for me. Then did Wellbutrin (also before TRT) which worked well and then pooped out and we kept upping my dose until I was at 300 mg day and it really messed with my sleep and increased my anxiety. Many people swear by the name brand Wellbutrin over the generic (which I was on). I had to get off b/c of those sised..it was about 2 months on wellbutrin or so.

My problem isn't really deep prolonged depression, but cycles of feeling okay and feeling awful..

I am wondering is a mood stabilizer might assist me more than an SSRI, especially since SSRIs are known to have secual side effects and that is a MAJOR part of my anxiety and depressive episodes....which led me to TRT when my numbers tested low.

Thanks for any feedback...

 

[Bama Boy]

I tried a lot of things brother even alcohol and that's the worst thing if you are depressed . Try to get out doors . I am a country boy raised on a farm in Alabama. I know the sunlight will do you good . The reason I got heavy was depression over kids, bills and financial stress . I see you like shooting . That would be a good stress reliever but can get expensive . I love to hunt and fish but that can also be expensive . The one thing that I have found to do and its dirt cheap !!!!! and the kids love it is Disc Golf ! We all love it ! and there is free disc golf courses everywhere ! lookup some disc golf videos on Youtube . cost you about $ 25 -30 bucks to start . One more thing I am not a religious person I don't do well with organized religion. But I do Believe in God . While you are outside taking a walk or what ever .Talk to God I don't do the whole dear heavenly father bit . I pray like this . Hey God I need your help I cant do this You can so I am gonna let You . Talk to him like a friend . Works for me . I know there is nothing worse than someone pushing religion down your throat when your life sucks . and I am not doing that! The only thing I can tell you about God is There is one and I aint it !!! I still will drink a couple of beers But I WILL NOT ! put 1 ounce of alcohol in me while depressed ! I don't know where you live but if you are ever in South Alabama Ill take you shooting I have got tons of Guns LOL! Seriously Hang in there try to handle your business the best you can . DONT!!! stick your head in the sand and hide from it ! I have done this and I am still paying for it ! Take care of yourself FIRST. This isn't being selfish ! Its a known fact if you don't take care of you first you wont be worth a shit to care for anyone else's needs . About all I got for you brother ! If you ever want to PM feel Free or talk sometimes its good to unload your shit to someone else . It usually doesn't work to well with others like the Wife/girlfriend because they are too close to you and you'll end up hurting there feelings and pissing them off ! Good luck and God bless brother !

 

[PAUL-E]

I don't smoke or drink no recreational drugs or anything like that. I haven't been shooting in over a year 1st time I tried after injury it was so extremely painful I dropped the gun and I don't think that I have to tell you that's a big no no. When I bump my hand it feels like I hit it with a hammer so it limits my activity with it and what I am able to do I cant even mow the grass with it because of the vibration I mow one handed.
Thank you all for your input and encouragement I truly appreciate it !!!!

 

[PAUL-E]

https://www.excelmale.com/forum/showthread.php?7135-Ways-to-Deal-with-Depression-and-Anxiety

 

[Vince]

Paul, I watched this a while back. I thought it was well worth watching.

 

[PAUL-E]

I agree, I thought it would be good to share.

 

[PAUL-E]

https://www.excelmale.com/forum/sho...brain-stimulation-for-pain-cognition-and-mood

 

[Nelson Vergel]

Nelson, are you still on Zoloft? If not, how long did you use it? If so, how long did you start to feel a difference. I have an appt finally with a really good psychiatrist this Friday. I had tried Zoloft over a year ago (before TRT) and it didn;t really works..sides were hard for me. Then did Wellbutrin (also before TRT) which worked well and then pooped out and we kept upping my dose until I was at 300 mg day and it really messed with my sleep and increased my anxiety. Many people swear by the name brand Wellbutrin over the generic (which I was on). I had to get off b/c of those sised..it was about 2 months on wellbutrin or so.

My problem isn't really deep prolonged depression, but cycles of feeling okay and feeling awful..

I am wondering is a mood stabilizer might assist me more than an SSRI, especially since SSRIs are known to have secual side effects and that is a MAJOR part of my anxiety and depressive episodes....which led me to TRT when my numbers tested low.

Thanks for any feedback...

I apologize since it seems I missed your post.

I took Zoloft after a bad break up in the 90's for 4 or 5 months. In a week I started feeling like I was not obsessing any more about the situation. Bad thoughts would come in but leave my head instead of getting stronger like a snow ball effect.

I worked out pretty much every day, got a weekly massage, tried to go out to socialize and knew about 4 months later that I probably could get off Zoloft. I lost 14 pounds along the way since Zoloft also decreased my appetite.

Mood stabilizers like Lamictal have done wonders for some people not only for bipolar disorder but also for depression. It does not seem to have negative metabolic effects as other mood stabilizers.

 

[James]

The two best simple techniques I use that seem to work without fail are eating healthy food and deep breathing. Something as simple as proper breathing brings things back into focus and keeps things in perspective.

 

[PAUL-E]

The two best simple techniques I use that seem to work without fail are eating healthy food and deep breathing. Something as simple as proper breathing brings things back into focus and keeps things in perspective.

I will give it a try. My mood has been like a roller coaster the depression and stress has come from being injured and all the things in my life it has effected, HRT is defiantly helping but even healthy people get depressed. I thought about talking to a professional but couldn't afford it now and even then I'm not sure it would help given the circumstances. Nelson posted this https://www.excelmale.com/forum/showthread.php?7770-7-Cardinal-Rules-in-Life I need to work on number 5 and 6 but its good to look at and remind yourself to try and stay positive I've been trying to focus on the more positive things in life we sometimes take for granted like my wife's smile kids laughing a beautiful day and try to slow time and live in the moment.

 

[James]

I need to work on number 5 and 6 but its good to look at and remind yourself to try and stay positive I've been trying to focus on the more positive things in life we sometimes take for granted like my wife's smile kids laughing a beautiful day and try to slow time and live in the moment.

I hear you man. I've been in some pretty dark places emotionally and to some degree will be battling certain things the rest of my life.

Living in the moment requires a level of maturity that has eluded me most of my life. I'm occasionally able to do it and there's nothing I enjoy more than listening to my kids laugh.

 

[PAUL-E]

I talked to my DR today about a couple of options things have been hard divorce has come up and I'm at the point where I might need some help.
Does anyone have any experience with Cymbalta what where your thoughts and what side effects did you get?
Thanks

 

[Tommy Wall]

For me Lexapro is the best for my anxiety but I´ll guess that´s individual. And to counteract some side effects maybe Wellbutrin. Wellbutrin however doesn´t decrease anxiety that it the issue.