An Angry Aardvark
New Member
I've lurked here since late 2019. This is my first post. I am in my early 40s and started on TRT October 26th, 2021. I am a former amateur wrestler, football player, and powerlifter. I was natural prior to beginning TRT. I always had a very high sex drive when I was young and fit. I first noticed my symptoms as a 30 year old fit and active man. I'm 75" and weighed approximately 240 pounds and had roughly 14% BF at the onset of my initial symptoms. My libido was diminished, erections weren't as firm and were harder to maintain, and gains in the gym that had always come easily became difficult. I got tested and came back at approximately 650 ng/dL (this was over 10 years ago) and was dismissed by my PCP. I tried all the things that are recommended over the following years, but the pounds kept coming, the gym continued to become more difficult, and the tests kept coming back lower and lower.
I decided to pull the trigger in October of '21 with morning levels of approximately 250 ng/dL with FSH/LH levels of 2.2 and 2.5, respectively. TSH was 1.8. Free T3 was 3.5 and free T4 was 1.15. Lipid panel wasn't great but not scary. Total was 190, triglycerides 72, LDL 123, HDL 50, nonHDL 140 and A1C was 5.0. I weighed 375 pounds. I could muster sex once a week, and it was anemic at best and more out of a sense of obligation than actual desire. I was exhausted all the time and would pass out at 2000, even if I'd only been up for 14 hours. My provider slugged me with 200 mg around 11 or 1200 the first day. I got a raging hardon at 1800 and hammered my wife for 15 or 20 minutes for the first time in years. Two days later, I felt like ass. After a lot of reading (here and elsewhere) I decided I wanted a lower dose and I wanted to do subq. My provider agreed. Initially I took hCG, but I dropped it on 2/2/22 because I was having difficultly getting dialed in and I decided there were too many variables. I've been doing 22 mg daily (154 mg weekly) subq of test cypionate and 5 mg tadalafil since then. By March of 2022, I felt like I was in my 20s again, except my libido was a very managble once a day. I decided I wanted labs as a reference. The following were drawn around 0900 approximately two and half hours aftering pinning:
TT: 886 ng/dL
SHBG: 40
Estradiol: 39 pg/mL
FT, Calc: 185.5 pg/mL
Albumin: 4.7
DHEA Sulfate: 197
DHT: 478 pg/mL
I cruised like this without any further tests until December. I noticed my libido increased to three times a day, but my wife didn't mind and I felt great. I'd seen my PCP and my hematocrit was always 48 or 49. I've lost 50 pounds, my AC1 is down to 4.8 and my lipid panel has improved, lowered HDL notwithstanding. My blood pressure is also improved, and I'm normotensive. The blood work I had drawn by my clinic around 1630 on 12/27 was:
TT: 1204 ng/dL
FT,C: 330 pg/mL
Estradiol: 55 pg/mL
SHBG: 28
Albumin: 4.6
I used TruT to calculate my free test and it came back at 41.67 ng/dL and I shit my pants a little. I immediately decided I wanted to decrease my dose and contacted my clinic because I had crept up so much. The NP who manages my TRT thought it was a normal variation since it was an afternoon draw, but I was confident I wouldn't see a 27% swing with daily injections. To confirm, I had 0830 and 1630 labs drawn. There was only an 85 point difference in my AM and PM TT. My hypothesis is that the weight loss has decreased the amount I need.
I've been on 18 mg daily subq (126 weekly) since 1/4/23 and I feel pretty awful. I had mood swings the first week or so that have resolved, but I noticed "turtling" and testicle retraction within the first few days and it has continued to get worse. I have no real libido most of the day, only a nebulous "I guess I could fuck?" I can get erect, but I no longer have spontaneous erections or get erect during foreplay with my wife. They are also much, much softer and harder to maintain. I keep telling myself this is just my body readjusting to my new dose, but even in the beginning when I first started I had at least a little bit of a libido. I selected that dose because I have at least 80 more pounds to lose and my thinking is that dropping to 126 mg gives me some wiggle room for when I lose weight. My provider is confused as to why I wanted to lower my dose, but goes along with what I want as long as it's reasonable.
Has anyone else experienced these sorts of symptoms for this long when lowering/tinkering with their dose? I know hormones take time and I won't settle into the new normal for 8-10 weeks, but I feel like I wasted so much of my 30s feeling like shit and I'm eager to get back on track. I think my free test levels were dangerous, but I was completely asymptomatic and I felt fantastic, so there's a voice in the back of head telling me I should be kicking myself for lowering my dose. I'm still relatively new to this and I suppose I'm looking for some reassurance that I made the right decision from some more experienced people.
If you read all this, thank you. I know it was long, but I wanted to be thorough and also to demonstrate that I didn't take this on lightly and that I did my due diligence before starting. I had a lot of head trauma (fights, football, head butts during wrestling matches, ATV wrecks, etc) in my teens and 20s and I think my pituitary just shit the bed as a result. Anyway, thanks again if you read my wall of text, and any information/advice/personal experiences you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
I decided to pull the trigger in October of '21 with morning levels of approximately 250 ng/dL with FSH/LH levels of 2.2 and 2.5, respectively. TSH was 1.8. Free T3 was 3.5 and free T4 was 1.15. Lipid panel wasn't great but not scary. Total was 190, triglycerides 72, LDL 123, HDL 50, nonHDL 140 and A1C was 5.0. I weighed 375 pounds. I could muster sex once a week, and it was anemic at best and more out of a sense of obligation than actual desire. I was exhausted all the time and would pass out at 2000, even if I'd only been up for 14 hours. My provider slugged me with 200 mg around 11 or 1200 the first day. I got a raging hardon at 1800 and hammered my wife for 15 or 20 minutes for the first time in years. Two days later, I felt like ass. After a lot of reading (here and elsewhere) I decided I wanted a lower dose and I wanted to do subq. My provider agreed. Initially I took hCG, but I dropped it on 2/2/22 because I was having difficultly getting dialed in and I decided there were too many variables. I've been doing 22 mg daily (154 mg weekly) subq of test cypionate and 5 mg tadalafil since then. By March of 2022, I felt like I was in my 20s again, except my libido was a very managble once a day. I decided I wanted labs as a reference. The following were drawn around 0900 approximately two and half hours aftering pinning:
TT: 886 ng/dL
SHBG: 40
Estradiol: 39 pg/mL
FT, Calc: 185.5 pg/mL
Albumin: 4.7
DHEA Sulfate: 197
DHT: 478 pg/mL
I cruised like this without any further tests until December. I noticed my libido increased to three times a day, but my wife didn't mind and I felt great. I'd seen my PCP and my hematocrit was always 48 or 49. I've lost 50 pounds, my AC1 is down to 4.8 and my lipid panel has improved, lowered HDL notwithstanding. My blood pressure is also improved, and I'm normotensive. The blood work I had drawn by my clinic around 1630 on 12/27 was:
TT: 1204 ng/dL
FT,C: 330 pg/mL
Estradiol: 55 pg/mL
SHBG: 28
Albumin: 4.6
I used TruT to calculate my free test and it came back at 41.67 ng/dL and I shit my pants a little. I immediately decided I wanted to decrease my dose and contacted my clinic because I had crept up so much. The NP who manages my TRT thought it was a normal variation since it was an afternoon draw, but I was confident I wouldn't see a 27% swing with daily injections. To confirm, I had 0830 and 1630 labs drawn. There was only an 85 point difference in my AM and PM TT. My hypothesis is that the weight loss has decreased the amount I need.
I've been on 18 mg daily subq (126 weekly) since 1/4/23 and I feel pretty awful. I had mood swings the first week or so that have resolved, but I noticed "turtling" and testicle retraction within the first few days and it has continued to get worse. I have no real libido most of the day, only a nebulous "I guess I could fuck?" I can get erect, but I no longer have spontaneous erections or get erect during foreplay with my wife. They are also much, much softer and harder to maintain. I keep telling myself this is just my body readjusting to my new dose, but even in the beginning when I first started I had at least a little bit of a libido. I selected that dose because I have at least 80 more pounds to lose and my thinking is that dropping to 126 mg gives me some wiggle room for when I lose weight. My provider is confused as to why I wanted to lower my dose, but goes along with what I want as long as it's reasonable.
Has anyone else experienced these sorts of symptoms for this long when lowering/tinkering with their dose? I know hormones take time and I won't settle into the new normal for 8-10 weeks, but I feel like I wasted so much of my 30s feeling like shit and I'm eager to get back on track. I think my free test levels were dangerous, but I was completely asymptomatic and I felt fantastic, so there's a voice in the back of head telling me I should be kicking myself for lowering my dose. I'm still relatively new to this and I suppose I'm looking for some reassurance that I made the right decision from some more experienced people.
If you read all this, thank you. I know it was long, but I wanted to be thorough and also to demonstrate that I didn't take this on lightly and that I did my due diligence before starting. I had a lot of head trauma (fights, football, head butts during wrestling matches, ATV wrecks, etc) in my teens and 20s and I think my pituitary just shit the bed as a result. Anyway, thanks again if you read my wall of text, and any information/advice/personal experiences you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
