Matthew Henthorn
New Member
Hello to everyone. This is my first time ever joining a group like this of any kind, and I usually don't share personal information with people, but here we go- please bare with me!!!
I am 23 years old, and I was just amazed to be diagnosed with hypogonadism from an emergency room doctor, with a reading for my total testosterone being 174. Yes, 174.
I, growing up, was always a withdrawn, unconfident, and smaller boy for my age. It wasn't until I started lifting weights at 16, that I started to bulk up and found that lifting weights was my solace- it was my meditation, and more recently- probably my only form of self-medication. Ironically, I've always had, even to this point right now- a strong sex drive... this fact is the reason I've always ruled out low-T as being the reason for what I've been experiencing.
More recently, I've still been doing my same routine. I go to school, I get out of my classes and then go to the gym, and then I work off and on a few hours a week at a local Starbucks. This has been my routine since 2011. But the past two years have taken a turn.. I found that my shifts at a mere Starbucks were proving to be quite exhausting, when in reality it was nothing that should be tiring out a 22/23 year old guy of my build and activity level. I still worked out 5-6 days a week, being seen by most people as a very fit, "ripped" guy. I also found that my workouts went from being my therapeutic time in which I became revitalized, to an hour of self-torture. The second I walk into the gym, I just want it to be my last set so I can grab a smoothie and go home. Muscle aches and cramps post-workout became a problem. It went from lifting weights as a passionate hobby, to something I felt like I HAD to do to feel good anymore. I've always eaten very clean, usually in the form of low-carb diets.. And now, dieting in all it's forms have come to an end as I don't have the drive to discipline myself anymore.
Present day, I've just been feeling very run down lately. I have been giving away my shifts at work, and only working my small 4 hour shifts, which prove absolutely exhausting as halfway through I'm looking at the clock every 10 minutes ready to go home and sit down. I decided, that maybe, after 7 years of working out, maybe I should take a week or two off, and then I'll regain some momentum and motivation to actually go to the gym and love it again. Maybe my body is screaming for rest. Maybe I am overtrained? I thought this was a logical thought and I decided to take some time off. I missed some work and school around this time I decided to take some time to recover, and die to insurance reasons, indigent care at a major hospital near me was my only option until I receive insurance eligibility again.
I just moved into an apartment with my fiancé, a week and a half later from when I took time to "rest" - in this time in which I've dismissed all workout regimes and I've just been going to school- the only thing I can still do full-time. Day by day, since cessation of weight lifting- I've been feeling lower and lower, weaker, and overall just "depleted", day by day. I've been getting hot flashes, in which I feel like I'm 80 years old or something, and I just want to sit down or lean against a wall, sometimes even causing nausea to a degree. My anxiety has been higher than usual, and even my self-taught technique of maintaining eye contact with my peers is proving difficult, and my social inhibitions are getting worse. Extreme fatigue, and an overall feeling of laziness that hits around mid-day to 5pm. Dizziness upon sudden exertion or going up stairs. Feeling "blue" when I am naturally a very happy person. These are all a gist of what I've been dealing with to a much much higher degree than usual. It feels like I have a high fever minus the chills, and I have a normal temperature, normal blood pressure (110/68) and a pulse ranging around 60-70's.
Last night, after a small 4 hour shift at Starbucks, filled with heightened anxiety, extreme fatigue, joint and muscle pain, and even nausea, I finally got off of work, and headed back to my apartment. Upon walking to my car to do just that, I encountered my first real panic attack. I could go into more detail in my seemingly endless post, or you can just take my word on it that it was pure hell. The scariest thing I've ever felt. At this point I had enough, I called my beautiful lady and told her I was going to the hospital.
At the hospital, after describing my endless list of symptoms and demanding the doctor do every blood screening he could possibly do, I waited 4 hours with my fiancé and wasn't sure at all what I was going to hear. The doctor, halfway through listening to me and the nurse repeat my symptoms, I noticed had stopped writing anything down. He kept looking at me in the eyes in an unsure manner. I didn't make much if this until he explained why... Once the doctor returned, he sat down right in front of me, and said he was going to tell me a little but about himself. He told me the gist of his personal health problems, in which he had recently, as of a year ago, started HRT. He stopped writing things down because he could "relate" to my symptoms. He then told me that he wasn't judging or condemning me in any way- but evidence of the blood work suggests I have been abusing steroids, and that I was having a "rebound" effect. He asked me to be honest with him and I absolutely told him the truth- I have never used steroids. The closest thing I used was a "testosterone booster" at 17 when I first started lifting, which contained DHEA. He explained how my Total T level was 174 and it should of ranged from 700-1000 at my age. He then listened to me explain more about myself, and he actually related to how I had been feeling for so long. He then pulled out a business card from his back wallet and gave it to me, it was a card to a modern aging center, in which the head doctor he set me up with was a colleague of his. I went first thing today and had a full blood panel drawn, and I will receive results by Friday...
I have absolutely never used anabolic steroids of any kind. While it has surely been a major temptation the past two years in an abysmal phase of mine, I have refrained from doing so. I am absolutely puzzled. How could I have hypogonadism at 23?? I abused drugs during my 18-20 years- my experimental and "party phase" in which consisted of an antidepressant(for my "anxiety" and social agoraphobia), binge alcohol usage, more pounds of marijuana than I weigh, and a lot adderall abuse(adderall was synergistic with the SSRI was on and adderall to me felt like ecstasy to someone else). Could this have screwed up my hypothalamus, pituitary, or adrenals? Am I just a product of heredity and I'm the first one on my dad's side to be diagnosed? Is it just a freak occurrence of nature?
I am supposed to return to the clinic Friday to figure out which route to take medicinally. While I am overly ecstatic to finally hear there is a REASON behind all of what I've been going through, I am also filled with uncertainty and a degree of fear. If anyone that took the time to read this has any words of wisdom, or advice- I would greatly appreciate it. I joined this group because I don't really have anyone to relate to. I hope you guys can understand where I'm coming from and perhaps take me seriously- thank you for your time, and I am willing to discuss anything on this board. I will answer absolutely any question thrown my way.
One last question, do I look like someone with hypogonadism? My step-father is a veterinarian so he has some knowledge of the matter-- he insists that there has been a mistake, and that a guy of my stature can't possibly have hypogonadism. In this picture, taken less than a month ago, I am 185lbs, and no idea how much body fat. Present day, I am 178 and I am seemingly losing my muscle mass at a fast rate and my appetite has diminished from a 3500+ calorie diet (estimation) to way less... Again, I hope I get some feedback here, and I am sorry for the long post!
( I don't see an option to post a picture of myself on my iPhone , I copied and pasted this from a ******** HRT page and I was referred by many people to seek council of any kind at this website )
I am 23 years old, and I was just amazed to be diagnosed with hypogonadism from an emergency room doctor, with a reading for my total testosterone being 174. Yes, 174.
I, growing up, was always a withdrawn, unconfident, and smaller boy for my age. It wasn't until I started lifting weights at 16, that I started to bulk up and found that lifting weights was my solace- it was my meditation, and more recently- probably my only form of self-medication. Ironically, I've always had, even to this point right now- a strong sex drive... this fact is the reason I've always ruled out low-T as being the reason for what I've been experiencing.
More recently, I've still been doing my same routine. I go to school, I get out of my classes and then go to the gym, and then I work off and on a few hours a week at a local Starbucks. This has been my routine since 2011. But the past two years have taken a turn.. I found that my shifts at a mere Starbucks were proving to be quite exhausting, when in reality it was nothing that should be tiring out a 22/23 year old guy of my build and activity level. I still worked out 5-6 days a week, being seen by most people as a very fit, "ripped" guy. I also found that my workouts went from being my therapeutic time in which I became revitalized, to an hour of self-torture. The second I walk into the gym, I just want it to be my last set so I can grab a smoothie and go home. Muscle aches and cramps post-workout became a problem. It went from lifting weights as a passionate hobby, to something I felt like I HAD to do to feel good anymore. I've always eaten very clean, usually in the form of low-carb diets.. And now, dieting in all it's forms have come to an end as I don't have the drive to discipline myself anymore.
Present day, I've just been feeling very run down lately. I have been giving away my shifts at work, and only working my small 4 hour shifts, which prove absolutely exhausting as halfway through I'm looking at the clock every 10 minutes ready to go home and sit down. I decided, that maybe, after 7 years of working out, maybe I should take a week or two off, and then I'll regain some momentum and motivation to actually go to the gym and love it again. Maybe my body is screaming for rest. Maybe I am overtrained? I thought this was a logical thought and I decided to take some time off. I missed some work and school around this time I decided to take some time to recover, and die to insurance reasons, indigent care at a major hospital near me was my only option until I receive insurance eligibility again.
I just moved into an apartment with my fiancé, a week and a half later from when I took time to "rest" - in this time in which I've dismissed all workout regimes and I've just been going to school- the only thing I can still do full-time. Day by day, since cessation of weight lifting- I've been feeling lower and lower, weaker, and overall just "depleted", day by day. I've been getting hot flashes, in which I feel like I'm 80 years old or something, and I just want to sit down or lean against a wall, sometimes even causing nausea to a degree. My anxiety has been higher than usual, and even my self-taught technique of maintaining eye contact with my peers is proving difficult, and my social inhibitions are getting worse. Extreme fatigue, and an overall feeling of laziness that hits around mid-day to 5pm. Dizziness upon sudden exertion or going up stairs. Feeling "blue" when I am naturally a very happy person. These are all a gist of what I've been dealing with to a much much higher degree than usual. It feels like I have a high fever minus the chills, and I have a normal temperature, normal blood pressure (110/68) and a pulse ranging around 60-70's.
Last night, after a small 4 hour shift at Starbucks, filled with heightened anxiety, extreme fatigue, joint and muscle pain, and even nausea, I finally got off of work, and headed back to my apartment. Upon walking to my car to do just that, I encountered my first real panic attack. I could go into more detail in my seemingly endless post, or you can just take my word on it that it was pure hell. The scariest thing I've ever felt. At this point I had enough, I called my beautiful lady and told her I was going to the hospital.
At the hospital, after describing my endless list of symptoms and demanding the doctor do every blood screening he could possibly do, I waited 4 hours with my fiancé and wasn't sure at all what I was going to hear. The doctor, halfway through listening to me and the nurse repeat my symptoms, I noticed had stopped writing anything down. He kept looking at me in the eyes in an unsure manner. I didn't make much if this until he explained why... Once the doctor returned, he sat down right in front of me, and said he was going to tell me a little but about himself. He told me the gist of his personal health problems, in which he had recently, as of a year ago, started HRT. He stopped writing things down because he could "relate" to my symptoms. He then told me that he wasn't judging or condemning me in any way- but evidence of the blood work suggests I have been abusing steroids, and that I was having a "rebound" effect. He asked me to be honest with him and I absolutely told him the truth- I have never used steroids. The closest thing I used was a "testosterone booster" at 17 when I first started lifting, which contained DHEA. He explained how my Total T level was 174 and it should of ranged from 700-1000 at my age. He then listened to me explain more about myself, and he actually related to how I had been feeling for so long. He then pulled out a business card from his back wallet and gave it to me, it was a card to a modern aging center, in which the head doctor he set me up with was a colleague of his. I went first thing today and had a full blood panel drawn, and I will receive results by Friday...
I have absolutely never used anabolic steroids of any kind. While it has surely been a major temptation the past two years in an abysmal phase of mine, I have refrained from doing so. I am absolutely puzzled. How could I have hypogonadism at 23?? I abused drugs during my 18-20 years- my experimental and "party phase" in which consisted of an antidepressant(for my "anxiety" and social agoraphobia), binge alcohol usage, more pounds of marijuana than I weigh, and a lot adderall abuse(adderall was synergistic with the SSRI was on and adderall to me felt like ecstasy to someone else). Could this have screwed up my hypothalamus, pituitary, or adrenals? Am I just a product of heredity and I'm the first one on my dad's side to be diagnosed? Is it just a freak occurrence of nature?
I am supposed to return to the clinic Friday to figure out which route to take medicinally. While I am overly ecstatic to finally hear there is a REASON behind all of what I've been going through, I am also filled with uncertainty and a degree of fear. If anyone that took the time to read this has any words of wisdom, or advice- I would greatly appreciate it. I joined this group because I don't really have anyone to relate to. I hope you guys can understand where I'm coming from and perhaps take me seriously- thank you for your time, and I am willing to discuss anything on this board. I will answer absolutely any question thrown my way.
One last question, do I look like someone with hypogonadism? My step-father is a veterinarian so he has some knowledge of the matter-- he insists that there has been a mistake, and that a guy of my stature can't possibly have hypogonadism. In this picture, taken less than a month ago, I am 185lbs, and no idea how much body fat. Present day, I am 178 and I am seemingly losing my muscle mass at a fast rate and my appetite has diminished from a 3500+ calorie diet (estimation) to way less... Again, I hope I get some feedback here, and I am sorry for the long post!
( I don't see an option to post a picture of myself on my iPhone , I copied and pasted this from a ******** HRT page and I was referred by many people to seek council of any kind at this website )
