Living in Malta, Looking for Medical Direction

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matthewgrech44

New Member
Hi there this is my first post, i am from overseas and i am looking for some help, i ****ed up very badly and am seeking medical treatment from outside europe if its possible.

I just sent an email to Nelson but i believe he is too busy to read it and he told me to post in one of the forums, This is the email that i sent to nelson in the hope of being pointed in the right direction.

Please go easy on me i made a lot of mistakes and i have been trying to fix them for a while now however its not really working out, any help would be appreciated thank you.



Dear nelson, My name is Matthew Grech i am 30 years old and i am from a small island in Europe called Malta.
I Do enjoy watching your videos as they are very informative and a lot can be learned from them. I wanted to write you an email because i have been vey unwell for 6 whole years now, i started trying to fix what ever was wrong with me about 4 years ago and I'm afraid to say i haven't made any improvement, if anything my symptoms have only gotten worse with time.



When i was 19 years old, i joined a gym and unfortunately the owner of the gym was a heavy steroid user and i let his influence on me, allow me to start using steroids at a very young age, mainly because i grew up fat and over weight and i wanted to change so badly that i would have done anything at that point in time.


After 5 years of using steroids constantly and experimenting with small amounts of injectables and orals, Something inside me just stopped working. I had never taken time off or even used any hcg as back then i was to frightened of losing the bit of muscle i had managed to gain.


During the 4th year of my steroid usage, i was not in a good place mentally and i started to use legal designer drugs which were very cheap and easy to get hold of, Most of these drugs mimicked amphetamines. I started to abuse these compounds, because they were so addicting and very cheap to get hold off. The period of abuse went on from June of 2010 until April 2011. From April 2011 i started to get my act together and stopped abusing drugs, I would still consume drugs with a much more recreational approach, meaning taking much smaller amounts and actually getting to sleep on the weekends instead of staying up for days in a row.


In June of 2011 i started to feel like the steroids i was taking which, were in fact were legitimate, were no longer working inside my body. It felt as if i was suffering from low testosterone, I was always tired, i had become very weak, I had no pump at all, i lost interest in things i enjoyed the most and started to lose the ability feel pleasure accompanied with a constant depressed mood. My brain has also started to slow down cognitively speaking and i found it hard to do/ remember things that i would be able to do with ease. From 2011 until this point these symptoms have not only gotten worse but they have managed to manifest into an even worse form of mental illness.


Initially i was told by a pharmacist who supplies gear to people that i might have a problem coming from my neurotransmitters. At that time i had no clue what he was on about , he suggested that i should go to a psychiatrist so i intact did. I had also taken a decision to stop using drugs as i thought they were the root cause of my illness. This was April 2013 and at this point i I also started learning a great deal about neurotransmitters to try and understand the problem better and to see how it would be possible to fix it.


Fast forward 3 years and 9 months later, i had been to 4 different psychiatrists and tried close to 11 different types of antidepressants to fix this problem.
Nothing ever really helped apart from a medication called bromocriptine which the psychiatrists were completely against, I did as i was told and stopped taking it and most of the symptoms just got worse all over again.


Please keep in mind that during these 3 years and 9 months i continued to use steroids, without them ever really having any effect on me. I always felt like i had low testosterone and that something inside me was literally broken. However i persisted on still using steroids in the hope that the combination of diet and exercise was in fact going to allow me to see improvements in strength, size and reductions in body fat. However that was not the case, my nervous system was shut down and nothing would work, on top of that i never felt like myself and was constantly depressed with a lack of interest towards anything.


In December of 2016 i decided it was time to stop these medications and I saught help of a naturopathic doctor. At this time i had given up on steroids and had finally tapered down to between 250mg to 200mg of testosterone per week. The natural doctor told me to have a blood test done, something i never used to do in the past, so in February after putting it off for a while i decided to go and get a blood test done and i tot it would be wise to check my hormone levels just to see if everything was normal.


Everything in my blood test was fine ,all i found was that my HDL was just a little bit low and my LDL was perfect.
This is where things finally started to make some kind of sense to why i had been so ill for so long
My testosterone was 43, our range in Malta is from 2.5 - 30 , 2.5 in my opinion obviously being way to low. My oestrogen was 327, the range in malta is from 0 - 146.
Surprisingly my progesterone was in fact 0.72 range is 0.82 - 2.9.


I belive i finally hit the nail on the head and found out what was wrong with me and what was causing all these horrible symptoms.
Unfortunately i don't have any more hormone results at this point in time. But only recently did it become clear to me that i might be suffering from more hormone deficiencies apart from progesterone.


Upon finding out about the low progesterone, i started using the arimidex and even letrozole to get my oestrogen in range. I did infact manage to do so however the last blood test showed that with normal levels of oestrogen my progesterone was still in fact very low Below the normal range.


Meanwhile i decreased my testosterone down to just 150 mg per week, which resulted in a blood level of 12.5, as mentioned range is 2.5 to 30 which is still to low for a 30 year old male.


I sought out the help of a endocrinologist as of recently and i ended up being told to come off testosterone and just take hcg at 1000 iu 3 times weekly . I am in fact using 1500 iu 3 times weekly, because i feel my symptoms have gotten worse ever since the testosterone level dropped down to 12.5. I am supposed to test in 4 weeks time to see whats going on with all the hormones.


I wanted to write you this email , just to give you an idea of how badly this hormone imbalance has effected my life. I was also wondering if you think that there are any doctors in the USA that would like to take on this case via Skype as i am completely lost. In Malta we do not have a single hormone replacement therapy clinic, I went to this endocrinologist with the intentions of using some form of hormone replacement therapy to make up for the lack of progesterone and any other hormones that might be on the low side.


I did not want to get stuck on hcg mainly because there is a chance after being shut down for 11 years my testicles will not function properly and i will have to keep living with this mental illness for a very long period of time before i am better. There are times where i feel like i belong in a mental hospital because of the symptoms i am experiencing.



Everyday i feel like a slightly different person, my mood is always different i get horrible mood swings which can last for hours and just dissipate in a matter of seconds, my energy is either up or down. I cannot feel feelings of pleasure for the things that i love in life, it feels like my body does not release endorphins in any way. I have a girlfriend who i have been with for just over 4 years and our relationship is a disaster because i am not able to be intimate, worse of all even though i love her with all my heart, i cannot feel feelings of love for her. once in a blue moon they switch on and switch right back off after a day or two.


She has been very understanding but is ending up in a bad state of health because she feels she doesn't know me. There are times were i am simply un able to speak or communicate with her, i don't kiss touch or hug her because there is something constantly putting an emotional block on me that stops me from wanting to do things that i love doing to her. After a few days it wears off and i act like myself until the process starts all over again.


The gym is my life and is my biggest passion, yet i never want to train, my brain has managed to turn it into something that i hate, I push myself to go just to try and keep active during this hard time. However when i get there i feel so much frustration, because every single rep of every single set, even those with light weight is just too difficult my muscles just can't work the way they should. The muscle weakness is overwhelming and making it impossible to do work outs. In general from my experience with training i know that the last few reps of an exercise before hitting failure are the hardest,in my case this feeling of fatigue takes place from the very first rep. Keep in mind that this muscle weakness has been here even with testosterone levels outside of the normal range. It is not just the low level of testosterone that is causing it, however as the level lowered recently things got even worse as mentioned above.


There are days i managed to train and do cardio and there are days where i just walk out of the gym because of not being able to train properly, its just too over whelming and i would really like to have my body working properly again. Not to mention i have no pump and i cannot feel my muscles when i flex them, i also haven't had a proper erection for 6 years now.


All these symptoms have left me unable to work, there are times that i think about taking my own life. The sad part is i know that i can have a very good future as the world of training and nutrition is my life , i have certifications in personal training and nutrition and wish to further my studies, however i cannot do so until i get back to normal. I also love music and i used to Dj i am not able to feel any pleasure/ excitement when listening to music that sends chills down my spine/ has an effect on my state of mind. As you can imagine this also upsets me very much


I believe that the hormone imbalance that has been created is the reason why my neurotransmitters are not functioning correctly and my mind and body is in a state.




Nelson Thank you very much for reading this email, i am sorry it was such a long one, i really wanted to try and get my message across to you as I'm not happy using hcg and i really am considering seeking the help of a doctor in the states. However i do not know where to turn or who to ask, I do hope you might have somebody in mind or might even be able to pass on this message to if you feel comfortable. As my only wish in life is to have my brain and body work again so that i can make the most of my life and i will be able to start working and helping other people not to go down the wrong paths in life and stay happy and healthy.


Thanks once again,
Best regards
 
Defy Medical TRT clinic doctor
I'm sorry you find yourself in your current situation. It is a mess. You asked if an American doctor would treat you via Skype. The short answer is no, they can't "treat" you in the sense of you becoming a regular patient while they prescribe medication for your use. It can't be done. But there is an alternative. Defy Medical - a site sponsor - offers international, advice-only consultations. In other words, you would need to have the necessary blood tests run, those results would lead to a long-distance consultation. The information you obtain could be given to your Maltese doctor who could then implement the protocols that were offered.

You can contact www.defymedical.com for details and costs associated with this.
 
Last edited:
Thank you very much coast watcher for your reply, do you have any experience with defy medical?
Ive already spoken to my local practitioner here and he is willing to help with this issue provided he is given the directions from a specialist abroad. Do you know if they focus on the other hormones apart from testosterone as that is more my worry then the actual try
 
Hi Vince thank you very much for your reply, I will have to contact them and see what they have do say. Is there any doctor in particular that you recommend. Have you ever used or needed a pregnenolone/ Dhea supplement along with your trt?
 
The medical staff at Defy is capable and will help you determine which of the doctors would best be able to assist you. They are more than a testosterone mill; they can provide you with other medical support.
 
Same problem

Hi there this is my first post, i am from overseas and i am looking for some help, i ****ed up very badly and am seeking medical treatment from outside europe if its possible.

I just sent an email to Nelson but i believe he is too busy to read it and he told me to post in one of the forums, This is the email that i sent to nelson in the hope of being pointed in the right direction.

Please go easy on me i made a lot of mistakes and i have been trying to fix them for a while now however its not really working out, any help would be appreciated thank you.



Dear nelson, My name is Matthew Grech i am 30 years old and i am from a small island in Europe called Malta.
I Do enjoy watching your videos as they are very informative and a lot can be learned from them. I wanted to write you an email because i have been vey unwell for 6 whole years now, i started trying to fix what ever was wrong with me about 4 years ago and I'm afraid to say i haven't made any improvement, if anything my symptoms have only gotten worse with time.



When i was 19 years old, i joined a gym and unfortunately the owner of the gym was a heavy steroid user and i let his influence on me, allow me to start using steroids at a very young age, mainly because i grew up fat and over weight and i wanted to change so badly that i would have done anything at that point in time.


After 5 years of using steroids constantly and experimenting with small amounts of injectables and orals, Something inside me just stopped working. I had never taken time off or even used any hcg as back then i was to frightened of losing the bit of muscle i had managed to gain.


During the 4th year of my steroid usage, i was not in a good place mentally and i started to use legal designer drugs which were very cheap and easy to get hold of, Most of these drugs mimicked amphetamines. I started to abuse these compounds, because they were so addicting and very cheap to get hold off. The period of abuse went on from June of 2010 until April 2011. From April 2011 i started to get my act together and stopped abusing drugs, I would still consume drugs with a much more recreational approach, meaning taking much smaller amounts and actually getting to sleep on the weekends instead of staying up for days in a row.


In June of 2011 i started to feel like the steroids i was taking which, were in fact were legitimate, were no longer working inside my body. It felt as if i was suffering from low testosterone, I was always tired, i had become very weak, I had no pump at all, i lost interest in things i enjoyed the most and started to lose the ability feel pleasure accompanied with a constant depressed mood. My brain has also started to slow down cognitively speaking and i found it hard to do/ remember things that i would be able to do with ease. From 2011 until this point these symptoms have not only gotten worse but they have managed to manifest into an even worse form of mental illness.


Initially i was told by a pharmacist who supplies gear to people that i might have a problem coming from my neurotransmitters. At that time i had no clue what he was on about , he suggested that i should go to a psychiatrist so i intact did. I had also taken a decision to stop using drugs as i thought they were the root cause of my illness. This was April 2013 and at this point i I also started learning a great deal about neurotransmitters to try and understand the problem better and to see how it would be possible to fix it.


Fast forward 3 years and 9 months later, i had been to 4 different psychiatrists and tried close to 11 different types of antidepressants to fix this problem.
Nothing ever really helped apart from a medication called bromocriptine which the psychiatrists were completely against, I did as i was told and stopped taking it and most of the symptoms just got worse all over again.


Please keep in mind that during these 3 years and 9 months i continued to use steroids, without them ever really having any effect on me. I always felt like i had low testosterone and that something inside me was literally broken. However i persisted on still using steroids in the hope that the combination of diet and exercise was in fact going to allow me to see improvements in strength, size and reductions in body fat. However that was not the case, my nervous system was shut down and nothing would work, on top of that i never felt like myself and was constantly depressed with a lack of interest towards anything.


In December of 2016 i decided it was time to stop these medications and I saught help of a naturopathic doctor. At this time i had given up on steroids and had finally tapered down to between 250mg to 200mg of testosterone per week. The natural doctor told me to have a blood test done, something i never used to do in the past, so in February after putting it off for a while i decided to go and get a blood test done and i tot it would be wise to check my hormone levels just to see if everything was normal.


Everything in my blood test was fine ,all i found was that my HDL was just a little bit low and my LDL was perfect.
This is where things finally started to make some kind of sense to why i had been so ill for so long
My testosterone was 43, our range in Malta is from 2.5 - 30 , 2.5 in my opinion obviously being way to low. My oestrogen was 327, the range in malta is from 0 - 146.
Surprisingly my progesterone was in fact 0.72 range is 0.82 - 2.9.


I belive i finally hit the nail on the head and found out what was wrong with me and what was causing all these horrible symptoms.
Unfortunately i don't have any more hormone results at this point in time. But only recently did it become clear to me that i might be suffering from more hormone deficiencies apart from progesterone.


Upon finding out about the low progesterone, i started using the arimidex and even letrozole to get my oestrogen in range. I did infact manage to do so however the last blood test showed that with normal levels of oestrogen my progesterone was still in fact very low Below the normal range.


Meanwhile i decreased my testosterone down to just 150 mg per week, which resulted in a blood level of 12.5, as mentioned range is 2.5 to 30 which is still to low for a 30 year old male.


I sought out the help of a endocrinologist as of recently and i ended up being told to come off testosterone and just take hcg at 1000 iu 3 times weekly . I am in fact using 1500 iu 3 times weekly, because i feel my symptoms have gotten worse ever since the testosterone level dropped down to 12.5. I am supposed to test in 4 weeks time to see whats going on with all the hormones.


I wanted to write you this email , just to give you an idea of how badly this hormone imbalance has effected my life. I was also wondering if you think that there are any doctors in the USA that would like to take on this case via Skype as i am completely lost. In Malta we do not have a single hormone replacement therapy clinic, I went to this endocrinologist with the intentions of using some form of hormone replacement therapy to make up for the lack of progesterone and any other hormones that might be on the low side.


I did not want to get stuck on hcg mainly because there is a chance after being shut down for 11 years my testicles will not function properly and i will have to keep living with this mental illness for a very long period of time before i am better. There are times where i feel like i belong in a mental hospital because of the symptoms i am experiencing.



Everyday i feel like a slightly different person, my mood is always different i get horrible mood swings which can last for hours and just dissipate in a matter of seconds, my energy is either up or down. I cannot feel feelings of pleasure for the things that i love in life, it feels like my body does not release endorphins in any way. I have a girlfriend who i have been with for just over 4 years and our relationship is a disaster because i am not able to be intimate, worse of all even though i love her with all my heart, i cannot feel feelings of love for her. once in a blue moon they switch on and switch right back off after a day or two.


She has been very understanding but is ending up in a bad state of health because she feels she doesn't know me. There are times were i am simply un able to speak or communicate with her, i don't kiss touch or hug her because there is something constantly putting an emotional block on me that stops me from wanting to do things that i love doing to her. After a few days it wears off and i act like myself until the process starts all over again.


The gym is my life and is my biggest passion, yet i never want to train, my brain has managed to turn it into something that i hate, I push myself to go just to try and keep active during this hard time. However when i get there i feel so much frustration, because every single rep of every single set, even those with light weight is just too difficult my muscles just can't work the way they should. The muscle weakness is overwhelming and making it impossible to do work outs. In general from my experience with training i know that the last few reps of an exercise before hitting failure are the hardest,in my case this feeling of fatigue takes place from the very first rep. Keep in mind that this muscle weakness has been here even with testosterone levels outside of the normal range. It is not just the low level of testosterone that is causing it, however as the level lowered recently things got even worse as mentioned above.


There are days i managed to train and do cardio and there are days where i just walk out of the gym because of not being able to train properly, its just too over whelming and i would really like to have my body working properly again. Not to mention i have no pump and i cannot feel my muscles when i flex them, i also haven't had a proper erection for 6 years now.


All these symptoms have left me unable to work, there are times that i think about taking my own life. The sad part is i know that i can have a very good future as the world of training and nutrition is my life , i have certifications in personal training and nutrition and wish to further my studies, however i cannot do so until i get back to normal. I also love music and i used to Dj i am not able to feel any pleasure/ excitement when listening to music that sends chills down my spine/ has an effect on my state of mind. As you can imagine this also upsets me very much


I believe that the hormone imbalance that has been created is the reason why my neurotransmitters are not functioning correctly and my mind and body is in a state.




Nelson Thank you very much for reading this email, i am sorry it was such a long one, i really wanted to try and get my message across to you as I'm not happy using hcg and i really am considering seeking the help of a doctor in the states. However i do not know where to turn or who to ask, I do hope you might have somebody in mind or might even be able to pass on this message to if you feel comfortable. As my only wish in life is to have my brain and body work again so that i can make the most of my life and i will be able to start working and helping other people not to go down the wrong paths in life and stay happy and healthy.


Thanks once again,
Best regards

Hi
Matthew I read your post and me as well live in Malta and in the same situation as yours, if you want we can help each other just let me know
 
Hi Matthew, I also live in Malta and am on TRT due to a pituitary issue. I also self-prescribed a pregnenolone supplement, which I take from time to time to help with my energy and focus. My Endo tries to keep my T levels above 20. If I were you I would stay on TRT for the time being.

I think the best thing to do is to check all hormones including: Estrodiol, Prolactin, Free T4, TSH, LH & FSH, Cortisol & Progesterone and take steps accordingly.

If bromocriptine makes you feel better then perhaps you might have a Prolactin issue (from the pituitary). High prolactin leads to sexual disfunctions and depression. Did you do TREN? Also if Progesterone is low then I think it's important to also check Cortisol (produced from progesterone).

I hope you manage to find the root cause to your problems and get better soon.


 
Beyond Testosterone Book by Nelson Vergel
Hi guys, i'm in a similar boat as you unfortunately, also maltese. Have had low t levels (below 15) for 5 years. Tried consulting with multiple gp's/ endos with no luck. They all said im fine since aint below range, tho having t levels of a 70 year old man. I'm going to prescribe myself hcg + test e if i find a legit source. Was wondering tho have you had any luck with your gp's? Did they prescribe trt , if so would you recommend him/her to me please? I would prefer a local prescription since buying online can be tricky .
 
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