Male depression and suicide: it's time for a change

Nelson Vergel

Thread starter #1
' Men don't cry. In clinic when a man cries, you can see it might be the first time he's cried in a long time, and it's almost as if he's wiping the shame off his face rather than the tears. Men need to cry. And feel OK about it.' - Dr Stephen Barratt, junior psychiatrist

'Not seeking help becomes a common trait and isn't even mentioned to friends of the same gender. Like for fear of becoming seen as less of an "Alpha."' - J.R. a student

The unspoken epidemic of male suicide may find some blame in society. Despite depression, self-harm and suicide attempts being more likely in women, rates of completed male suicide grossly outweigh that of their female counterparts. Media-influenced perception of the ideal man rarely allows for emotion. You rarely see James Bond, Bruce Willis or Thor expressing much sensitivity. This article discusses the cause and burden of suicidal depression, why men are especially at risk and what can be done to save lives.
I'm a very sensitive man and am anxiety ridden. Whenever I discuss anything personal like health and wellness or anything positive or negative I can tell most people men especially get very uncomfortable. When I discussed TRT around someone I am not ashamed of it and love the science...people hate it even if the conversation was about health etc. I Hate this complex with a passion, if I'm not trying to make someone laugh I feel like I should keep my mouth shut...when as the suicide rate suggests especially among divorced men, we need to more than ever stick together. Straight men suffer immensely in quiet from these types of things in America, masculinity is extremely ridiculed.


New Member
I think men don't need to hold their emotion. I believe they will be sensitive and emotional sometimes, and it's ok if they cry, crying would help them to be more comfortable than keeping it inside and no one knows it.
Someone says that if a man cries for his lady, it means he loves her so much. I've never seen a man cry (except for my lil brother), but if I see that, I think I'd be touched. :)
It's ok to cry, my men!


New Member
I try to be as stoic as possible these days yet I find once I'm overwhelmed with things, I can't help but believe releasing the emotions is nothing but human and natural. I'm just cautious as to who gets to see it. Thank you Nelson for all you do here

Nelson Vergel

Thread starter #9
Thanks, zojo360

That is why we are here on it all out, guys! Heck, we are anonymous (well, not all of us !) and this is a judgement-free zone.

I have been in the darkest places mentally along the 34 years dealing with HIV, hypogonadism/wasting, fatigue, loss of my previous career, three back surgeries, and the death of many of my friends. I truly believe that whatever you keep inside (due to fear, stigma, or shame) will eventually eat you up.

I am living proof that we can work out the resilience muscle as well as we work out our bodies. My mission is to make it easier on other people who may be thinking that there is no hope for them or who feel victims of the health care system or circumstances.

I am a lucky man. I have met great guys through this work. Many of them have become great moderators who have all gone through their own struggles and are now sharing with others what they have learned. I do not think most of us "arrive" at best physical and mental health but we are certainly closer to that goal than when we were younger.

There is nothing better than getting up in the morning and knowing that you have hope and that you may make someone's life better. Even when things go wrong, that in itself is the best Prozac I can take.
I think loneliness or lack of a partner (or one they are unhappy with) is the greatest risk for suicide cause for me im only depressed in those situations.
Personally Ive been through so much I had forgotten how to cry, or even feel for that matter. From the divorce of my parents, then my moms girlfriend who went off the deep end, lit herself on fire right in front of us. I had to put her out with a fire extinguisher, horrible images I can not erase. Then she comes back around to tell me what I did was worse than the fire, the extinguisher nearly killed her, according to the Dr's. After that it was over, drugs became my way of coping. For nearly 20 years I was using hard drugs or alcohol, daily. In and out of prison, I seen and experienced so much hate while being addicted, its a wonder I didnt off myself. I am clean now, only a beer or two every now and then. Been clean for 10+ years, and staying away from the drugs is now easy. But lately I've been finally trying to deal with the things of my past. I want to let go of the things that took me down the roads I traveled, learn to live and be happy in life.
si sientes sentimientos de suicidio es hora de buscar que hacer , a veces no tener que hacer trae mucha ansiedad y te conlleva a prestar atención a cosas que no se deben prestar , ademas la persona ansiosa por no hacer se tiende a sentir mas vulnerable frente a acosos o palabras negativas .
I feel like it's the society we live in today that makes depression a very easy thing to succumb too. The news is negative. Everything they highlight is the negative. The masculine/ feminine roles are all jacked up so men have a hard time just being men and accepting their masculine traits as normal.

Atarting to to learn how to give less ****s is the way to go imo. This has been a recent thing for me.