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I know... aren't we all? my mom was on benzodiazepines for more than 40 years, several times a day.  I've been on an off for 30 years as well (started with nitrazepam for sleep)

Doctors prescribe it as candy because they are extremely effective in controlling anxiety in the short term. When it stop working, they just up the dosage and it works again. Then you reach dependency and you are hook for life and cannot live without it, literally.

I've been fortunately that I have been able to quit all psychiatric meds cold turkey without much trouble. The worst for me were SSRIs. I'm never taking lexapro again.