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me to lol. gunna be another 5 days or so. they took like 7 tubes of blood. I went bolistic in the docs office becuase he knew NONE of these words or medical terms. no clue what a troph day is. wasnt even going to look at my estradol so went in with a list of all the info i gathered here and basicly schooled my doctor on trt. and demanded a test for each thing plus more.I said and i quote "when i leave u better be researching every blood test I need ,and I think i may have turned purple and smoke may have been shooting out of my ears , so he listened.  its just a shame the things we have to do for or docs to properly treat us. 

to top this all off i went to fill my rovatio 20mg tabs ....and my pharmacy of 10 years + shorted me 10 pills and i paid 3 bucks a pill.   l litterly was shaking and almost cried cuz my stress was so high . my pharmacy has had my back and helped me and litterly watched me get clean and sober and the ONE TIME they make a mistake and i meekly ask the head pharm. which i am very close with , what happened to the 10 pills this is so weird.. she had no answer except my count is right, and ill check with the other pharmicist who filled it who i also know well. and she did this while backing away from me like "im done taking and when i reach my desk convos over"   im not ashamed to say i stood outside bawling little child becuase I just got ****ed over by the pharmacy ive trusted with so many meds for over a decade is looking at me like i am lieing about ****ing generic **** pills, that r really used for blood presure . REALLY???? so naturally the fight or flight kicks in and i want to blow the building up . really nice catch 22 she put me in. and its my word against hers. im grown now , i dont **** around  and all that experience did to me was flash me back to when I was actively using and no1 believed me. "rightfully so" at that time. but its been 7 years now of SOBER SOBER SOBER, so it was like the past slapping me in the face the way it was handled. like i even called the second i opened the bottle and reported the 10 pills werent there . so a girl said they ran out and wud have them tomorrow. now they deny they said that.  so i had to swallow my pride and EAT IT once again and just drop it, cuz i need this pharmacy more then they need me. im just really hurt that she doesnt believe me after all this time, i guess the stigma of my past really will never go away . i ****in bake that bitch pies every holiday year like uhhhhh i really am like looping this in my brain and i have to stop its effecting my sleep . this probly sounds crazy to get so upset but i have such bad anxiety and panic disorder this cud **** with me for weeks. until i talk it all out over and over with my thearpist. ok sorry for rambling and all the grammar errors . i just had to vent that.