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The Hang Out - Where Everything Goes!
flaming codependant needs help with boundary muscles!
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<blockquote data-quote="Brooksy Chuck" data-source="post: 4322" data-attributes="member: 44"><p>I am feeling down about my people skills. How does this work?</p><p>I need help in learning to strengthen my boundary muscles. In this journey of shoulder rehab, j have had to ask a lot of people for help some I don't know very well others are folks I have known casually. In doing so I am seeing a lot of me feels.obligation for their help and in that it is keeping me from being true to my recovery and down time. Also some folks what to take advantage</p><p> One person I put my credit card on her zip car account so I could get a lift short notice, I also gave her some cash for her time and an extra hour on the car for her. I few days later I got a message that she ended to use my card for a trip for her on zip car and hope I didn't mind she would pay me back right away. I can't get a hold of her now. My neighbor how made an ice run for me .Was salivating and asked for my pain meds. And another friend that was my primary care the day of and after inlaid 100$ which isn't a lot but she yelled at me when I told her to male sure the ice was handled and then she sat and picked her scalp until a big pile of skin was on my couch arm. It was grossed and Its in a position of vulnerability at that time as it was right after surgery. I realiZe these are their issues and my challenge is how do I ask for help and get what I need despite people that are self seeking? The funny thing is I feel like I Am being totally selfish and am supposed to show up for them</p><p> The easiest of chalanges are the good folks that are trying to really help and they come visit or bring supplies. Which is great and I also find myself feeling obligated to listen to them for hours...and right now my energy is all about self care and doing pretty</p><p> With one arm everything takes twice as long and twice much energy. So feel like not asking anyone for help because in am getting totally overwhelmed. Yet I need help for another grocery run. I guess I should be grateful promenade showing up and I am. I just need to find a way to take care of myself around them</p><p> I did try a boundary with one person and she totally shut me out. How does this work?</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Brooksy Chuck, post: 4322, member: 44"] I am feeling down about my people skills. How does this work? I need help in learning to strengthen my boundary muscles. In this journey of shoulder rehab, j have had to ask a lot of people for help some I don't know very well others are folks I have known casually. In doing so I am seeing a lot of me feels.obligation for their help and in that it is keeping me from being true to my recovery and down time. Also some folks what to take advantage One person I put my credit card on her zip car account so I could get a lift short notice, I also gave her some cash for her time and an extra hour on the car for her. I few days later I got a message that she ended to use my card for a trip for her on zip car and hope I didn't mind she would pay me back right away. I can't get a hold of her now. My neighbor how made an ice run for me .Was salivating and asked for my pain meds. And another friend that was my primary care the day of and after inlaid 100$ which isn't a lot but she yelled at me when I told her to male sure the ice was handled and then she sat and picked her scalp until a big pile of skin was on my couch arm. It was grossed and Its in a position of vulnerability at that time as it was right after surgery. I realiZe these are their issues and my challenge is how do I ask for help and get what I need despite people that are self seeking? The funny thing is I feel like I Am being totally selfish and am supposed to show up for them The easiest of chalanges are the good folks that are trying to really help and they come visit or bring supplies. Which is great and I also find myself feeling obligated to listen to them for hours...and right now my energy is all about self care and doing pretty With one arm everything takes twice as long and twice much energy. So feel like not asking anyone for help because in am getting totally overwhelmed. Yet I need help for another grocery run. I guess I should be grateful promenade showing up and I am. I just need to find a way to take care of myself around them I did try a boundary with one person and she totally shut me out. How does this work? . [/QUOTE]
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The Hang Out - Where Everything Goes!
flaming codependant needs help with boundary muscles!
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