In our marriage, with no children and my wife earning much more than me, the marriage was about her not wanting to be alone. That's it. Not about love or attraction. I was the consolation prize after many men got fed up with her craziness and left her; one after 7 years of being her boyfriend. And, her 'secret' of being attracted to women. She never wanted to discuss anything or, it was a circular conversation consisting of her nonsensical rationalizations. She never could be honest with herself, no less, me.
Without both people being honest, you stay stuck, unhappy and, eventually, resentful and angry.