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Mental Health
Needing Relationship Advice: Should I just End it?
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<blockquote data-quote="Kev101" data-source="post: 195675" data-attributes="member: 41998"><p>I'm the reformed bad guy in our marriage too. Our son was the glue that kept us together. Some how it just got better, we've been married for a decade. The first 1/2 was on the rocks, then very very slowly it got better.</p><p></p><p>We're somehow best friends now and I don't know what did it. We prayed alot and went to church and counciling. I was honest w/ my mom about divorce and she gave me advise all the time. We were very open about being unhappy.</p><p></p><p>We read marriage books together, we both loved each other but would get triggered so easily, yet we're madly in love. We both wanted it to be be ok, we hated that we hated each other. It's hard to explain. Best friends that somehow can't stand to be together and at the same time can't be apart. That was the past, heck maybe it was my roids and changes in my personality, it's very possible.</p><p></p><p>If she cares very deeply for you and you both love each other it may be worth the effort. I think she has to be on the same level as you and want change. If she's not willing to admit her flaws then she's not ready. You have to have a day one where you forgive and start over, let mistakes be the past. Like how God forgives our sin, no one is perfect and we're all F-ups. </p><p></p><p>Takes the right person to make that work, it's a specific state of mind and amount of dedication required by both parties. Has to be priority and can't involve anger from prior incidents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kev101, post: 195675, member: 41998"] I'm the reformed bad guy in our marriage too. Our son was the glue that kept us together. Some how it just got better, we've been married for a decade. The first 1/2 was on the rocks, then very very slowly it got better. We're somehow best friends now and I don't know what did it. We prayed alot and went to church and counciling. I was honest w/ my mom about divorce and she gave me advise all the time. We were very open about being unhappy. We read marriage books together, we both loved each other but would get triggered so easily, yet we're madly in love. We both wanted it to be be ok, we hated that we hated each other. It's hard to explain. Best friends that somehow can't stand to be together and at the same time can't be apart. That was the past, heck maybe it was my roids and changes in my personality, it's very possible. If she cares very deeply for you and you both love each other it may be worth the effort. I think she has to be on the same level as you and want change. If she's not willing to admit her flaws then she's not ready. You have to have a day one where you forgive and start over, let mistakes be the past. Like how God forgives our sin, no one is perfect and we're all F-ups. Takes the right person to make that work, it's a specific state of mind and amount of dedication required by both parties. Has to be priority and can't involve anger from prior incidents. [/QUOTE]
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Mental Health
Needing Relationship Advice: Should I just End it?
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