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Mental Health
Needing Relationship Advice: Should I just End it?
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<blockquote data-quote="tropicaldaze1950" data-source="post: 195650" data-attributes="member: 13651"><p>I know your story. Sounds like mine. I tried to leave my wife several times. And I came back because I didn't believe I could live without her. I felt sorry for her, too, because she had a traumatic childhood & adolescence. And, when I came back, I walked right back into the dysfunctional meat grinder. We've been married 25 years, lived together 3, so 28 years. I'm now 70, she's 75. She never did anything to help herself. She has lived in a state of constant denial.</p><p></p><p>I'm not someone who should be dispensing relationship advice, since I didn't have the balls to walk away even though I was miserable. If you do leave her, it will be hard...maybe, but, once you go, don't look back, ever. Leaving a relationship or a marriage that's not working is like stopping drinking or drugs. We're addicted to that person we believe can't live without us or whom we believe we can't live without. My psychiatrist told me that if I ever do leave my wife, don't give her a heads up; just go. Maybe that's the way; just get in your car or truck and go. You might have to go far away and start your life over. Definitely not easy. I have a sense of what you're going through or living with. Just keep telling yourself, it's not you. She's the one who's messed up and she's probably frightened that you'll walk away. Not your problem, no matter how she tugs at your emotions. Again, for some men it's easy. For you, for me and others, it's not. Keep it on an even keel, man.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tropicaldaze1950, post: 195650, member: 13651"] I know your story. Sounds like mine. I tried to leave my wife several times. And I came back because I didn't believe I could live without her. I felt sorry for her, too, because she had a traumatic childhood & adolescence. And, when I came back, I walked right back into the dysfunctional meat grinder. We've been married 25 years, lived together 3, so 28 years. I'm now 70, she's 75. She never did anything to help herself. She has lived in a state of constant denial. I'm not someone who should be dispensing relationship advice, since I didn't have the balls to walk away even though I was miserable. If you do leave her, it will be hard...maybe, but, once you go, don't look back, ever. Leaving a relationship or a marriage that's not working is like stopping drinking or drugs. We're addicted to that person we believe can't live without us or whom we believe we can't live without. My psychiatrist told me that if I ever do leave my wife, don't give her a heads up; just go. Maybe that's the way; just get in your car or truck and go. You might have to go far away and start your life over. Definitely not easy. I have a sense of what you're going through or living with. Just keep telling yourself, it's not you. She's the one who's messed up and she's probably frightened that you'll walk away. Not your problem, no matter how she tugs at your emotions. Again, for some men it's easy. For you, for me and others, it's not. Keep it on an even keel, man. [/QUOTE]
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Mental Health
Needing Relationship Advice: Should I just End it?
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