Hi all,
I am a 25 year old male, 5'11, 240lbs from Ontario, Canada. My whole life I have been obese and suffered from depression, anxiety, lack of focus, brain fog, and no interest in sex with the few girls that I dated. The latter was mainly do too not being able to get proper erections but I contributed that to my obesity. Barely scraped through College, part way through I sought help from a psychiatrist who prescribed SSRI's and ADHD medication to help with the focus and depression. It has been two years since I've been treated by the psychiatrist and I have no change, I feel like I'm spiralling out of control going crazy to figure out why I've been miserable mentally and physically my whole life. in 2016 I complained to my doctor about my well being and I mentioned low testosterone as a possibility due to the fact that I dedicated my life to working out and eating right to no changes. At that time, testosterone was measured at 11 nmol/L, with a range of 6.0-27. I was shocked due to the fact that I was 23 years old with such low testosterone but as many of you have experienced I was classified in the normal. I researched and it does in fact seem that it was really low for my age, please correct me if I'm wrong. I complained but to no avail so I kept on the other drugs from my psych and still no change. In late 2017, I decided to self medicate in the form of cycling with testosterone enathanate I was making progress in the gym I felt better, had no issues waking up, did better in school, and had what I think was normal erections coupled with libido.I did a blood test a few months and measured at 53.2 nmol/l. At this stage I panicked because I was afraid of what my doctor was going to say to me and I never went back to see him after he called to discuss the number. A few months after that I went back to the daily struggle of the anxiety, depression, weight gain, mental fog, a severe lack of confidence, no interest in sex with my girlfriend. I am counting the days until she eventually leaves because as many have stated she does have needs as a woman. She has been very patient with me but did see the difference of when I was on the cycle in my libido increase. She never understood why and I never mentioned it to her due to the anxiety, I just keep making up stories that its because I'm obese and lack of blood flow makes me not able to get an erection etc etc. That is where I'm currently at. I have no idea what to do, do I go back to my doctor and face the music? I feel like that will completely throw my options for TRT out the door as he was reluctant as it was to relate it to all the issues I've been having so when he confronts me about the cycle he will just say well you messed yourself up, have a nice life and deal with it. I can't really go on like this, I spend most of my days drinking to mask it all and use it as an excuse as too why I can't have sex with my girlfriend. Lastly, is there any help for me? Do I have options to look at TRT or is all this shit in my head? Will my doctor refer me to an endo? Do I see a urologist? Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I am a 25 year old male, 5'11, 240lbs from Ontario, Canada. My whole life I have been obese and suffered from depression, anxiety, lack of focus, brain fog, and no interest in sex with the few girls that I dated. The latter was mainly do too not being able to get proper erections but I contributed that to my obesity. Barely scraped through College, part way through I sought help from a psychiatrist who prescribed SSRI's and ADHD medication to help with the focus and depression. It has been two years since I've been treated by the psychiatrist and I have no change, I feel like I'm spiralling out of control going crazy to figure out why I've been miserable mentally and physically my whole life. in 2016 I complained to my doctor about my well being and I mentioned low testosterone as a possibility due to the fact that I dedicated my life to working out and eating right to no changes. At that time, testosterone was measured at 11 nmol/L, with a range of 6.0-27. I was shocked due to the fact that I was 23 years old with such low testosterone but as many of you have experienced I was classified in the normal. I researched and it does in fact seem that it was really low for my age, please correct me if I'm wrong. I complained but to no avail so I kept on the other drugs from my psych and still no change. In late 2017, I decided to self medicate in the form of cycling with testosterone enathanate I was making progress in the gym I felt better, had no issues waking up, did better in school, and had what I think was normal erections coupled with libido.I did a blood test a few months and measured at 53.2 nmol/l. At this stage I panicked because I was afraid of what my doctor was going to say to me and I never went back to see him after he called to discuss the number. A few months after that I went back to the daily struggle of the anxiety, depression, weight gain, mental fog, a severe lack of confidence, no interest in sex with my girlfriend. I am counting the days until she eventually leaves because as many have stated she does have needs as a woman. She has been very patient with me but did see the difference of when I was on the cycle in my libido increase. She never understood why and I never mentioned it to her due to the anxiety, I just keep making up stories that its because I'm obese and lack of blood flow makes me not able to get an erection etc etc. That is where I'm currently at. I have no idea what to do, do I go back to my doctor and face the music? I feel like that will completely throw my options for TRT out the door as he was reluctant as it was to relate it to all the issues I've been having so when he confronts me about the cycle he will just say well you messed yourself up, have a nice life and deal with it. I can't really go on like this, I spend most of my days drinking to mask it all and use it as an excuse as too why I can't have sex with my girlfriend. Lastly, is there any help for me? Do I have options to look at TRT or is all this shit in my head? Will my doctor refer me to an endo? Do I see a urologist? Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
