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Hello everyone! Please help me solve this mystery.

Have been on the cream for a few months, 50 mg twice a day on the scrotum. With still very little libido. Have tried a higher dose for several weeks, but without success. So i just go back to 50mg 2x a day. Labs on this protocol are after 5 hours:

total t 980

free t 23

e2 45

shbg 32

last Thursday evening I was unable to apply the evening dose, nor Friday morning! I thought I was going to die that Friday, but I felt really good and had a good libido too!

When I was on injections for the cream, and I skipped the weekly dose, I also had a good libido that week and felt very good. what the hell can this be? Is this a ratio between certain hormones that simply cannot be maintained? am i so fucked for life?

or am i just someone who does better on lower free t. please help me solve this mystery guys.