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Thanks MM, as a fellow Forum Member in my 60's, I enjoy your insight and aspire to achieve the level of relationship that you have with your partner.  Two books by Dr David Schanarch, PhD, have been helpful to me and my partner's work in progress:  Passionate Marriage and Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in your Marriage.  Also, in addition to the Kerner books you mention, Women's Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston is helpful for both men and women in a relationship.  Like Kerner, she places an emphasis partners' roles in "playing to higher levels of blissfulness"


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