I started feeling very flat and anhedonic, no interest or excitement for anything. I used to dream and think a lot, get excited about new ideas and things to do; after a while on daily Cyp I felt like a zombie, but a zombie in a good mood. My depression and suicidal thoughts completely went away, but so did everything else.
Personally I believe it's due to HPTA shutdown. My DHEA-S dropped by 60% after I got on TRT, 200 to 80, confirmed on many blood tests.
Anecdotally on daily Prop and now daily compounded cream, my DHEA-S comes back to 90% of my pre-TRT levels, which can't be a coincidence.
I think shorter esters creating more variation in Test levels and allowing your levels to come down, lead to less suppression of the HPTA. I completely disagree with the idea that HPTA shutdown is binary (100% online or offline).
Think about it this way. Take the extreme of using TNE (Test no ester) which has a half-life of 2-4 hours and is in and out of your system in a matter of hours. Do you think injecting that daily will 100% suppress your HPTA? No chance.
In terms of HPTA suppression I don't think you can do much worse than a longer ester injected daily, where you're at the top of the range 24/7 with less than 5% variation in levels.
