Going with Defy, I can't do this on my own anymore.

Thread starter #1
I had an opportunity to have sex tonight with an amazing women tonight, and ultimately had to tell her that I have a medical condition, and cannot get hard. We had a couple of great dates, and some real chemistry. She said that she was still interested in continuing the relationship, but I'm not sure that I can subject her to my ups and downs, let alone my inability to perform.

Viagra and Cialis don't help at all (but possibly left me with tinnitus), and I have not had any periods of success with my various TRT, HCG mono protocols. My Endo and PCP have been no help, tell me the thousands I've spent on additional labs was a waste of money, and are out of answers.

I spend nearly every day fatigued, with brain fog, and a lifeless penis. It feels like my life has turned into a nightmare, and I'm running out of options. I'm currently 27 and have dealt with ED for my entire adult life. I've only struggled with fatigue for the past year or two, but it has made nearly everyday an uphill battle. The psychological aspect of what a lot of us go through is really not discussed enough, I try to remain strong, but the burden is wearing me down.

I'm sorry for the rant, I just need get this off my chest. I hope that Defy can figure this out, I have every reason to be hopeful.
 
#3
I don't know your medical history, what your labs look like, and I'm not really trained to know how to interpret them even if you had them available. I'm just a guy who has kids almost your age, and I have racked up a tiny bit of life experience.

I go to Defy. They're great. You're in good hands. It may take a while for you to feel better, but I urge you to stick with it. If you are truly hypogonadal and can't recover, you need your trt protocol regardless of your inability to get an erection. It may just be necessary for good quality of life outside the bedroom. I'm a fan of things that come closer to imitating what the body does naturally (i.e. gels, creams, or a short ester like propionate). Some guys feel great on long esters, but, since I started propionate, I'm singing its praises from the mountaintops.

He who risks nothing gains nothing. For now, don't worry about your inability to perform. Sex isn't just about penetration. That's something for you and your partner to figure out together. But, if she decides to end the relationship, DO NOT be discouraged. She wasn't the right one anyway. If the keystone for the relationship is sex, it will fail 100% of the time. The right one will be by your side regardless, and, believe me, there is a right one out there. Just keep your standards high.

There are a lot of medical solutions for ED. I don't know if your problem is physiological or psychological, but, if all else fails, there is always the surgical implant solution. What I'm getting at is your situation is not hopeless.

At the end of the day, you may need to see a urologist. Hopefully Defy can get that area of your life figured out.

Here in the US, we have funny attitudes about things. I am married to a Filipina, and I just got back to the US from the Philippines in June. Here in the US, we tend to place sex at the center of everything. I think that's why so many guys are devastated by ED. In the Philippines, they have a completely different attitude about it. I've seen guys just drinking, hanging out, and joking about not being able to get an erection. Nobody is ashamed. They realize that that is part of life. Their focus is on enjoying life, not worrying. In the US, we love to worry. It's what we do best.The Philippines is a third world country, and most guys can't afford any sort of treatment (A 5 dollar a day salary can only stretch so far). In spite of their circumstances, they were some of the happiest people I ever met. That shined a light on my own issues regarding life, sex, and masculinity. I got my issues worked out through Defy, and I'm functioning just fine now. But, I'm grateful for the time I had issues, because I learned quite a bit from it.

What I'm getting at is that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and your attitude towards a situation can make all the difference.

You only have one life. Enjoy it. Worry less, and do things that make you happy.
 
#4
Defy can certainly pinpoint what's causing your ED and fatigue. I would recommend you have them include a full thyroid panel with your pre-treatment blood test. Should at least have TSH, FT4, FT3, Reverse T3 and antibodies. Defy does treat low T and also low thyroid function which sets them apart from other hormone replacement specialist. Low T and hypothyroidism symptoms are very similar and if you don't test both, you could end up taking the wrong path. Your thyroid has to be functioning before you can properly treat and feel the effects of low T therapy.

Good luck and keep us updated on your progress.
 
#5
But, if she decides to end the relationship, DO NOT be discouraged. She wasn't the right one anyway. If the keystone for the relationship is sex, it will fail 100% of the time. The right one will be by your side regardless, and, believe me, there is a right one out there. Just keep your standards high.
There are a lot of very wise words in your post, but these struck me the most. This is so true. I've had serious ED problems for years, but the woman I've been married to for 9 years is still with me, supporting me. She even knew about my problems before we married, though they weren't quite as bad then. She loves me for who I am.

My point being, to the original poster, it's not hopeless. In fact, my wife was your age when we met, so there are young women like this.

I also decided to go with Defy, and my first consult is this week. Fingers crossed.
 
#6
I had an opportunity to have sex tonight with an amazing women tonight, and ultimately had to tell her that I have a medical condition, and cannot get hard. We had a couple of great dates, and some real chemistry. She said that she was still interested in continuing the relationship, but I'm not sure that I can subject her to my ups and downs, let alone my inability to perform.

Viagra and Cialis don't help at all (but possibly left me with tinnitus), and I have not had any periods of success with my various TRT, HCG mono protocols. My Endo and PCP have been no help, tell me the thousands I've spent on additional labs was a waste of money, and are out of answers.

I spend nearly every day fatigued, with brain fog, and a lifeless penis. It feels like my life has turned into a nightmare, and I'm running out of options. I'm currently 27 and have dealt with ED for my entire adult life. I've only struggled with fatigue for the past year or two, but it has made nearly everyday an uphill battle. The psychological aspect of what a lot of us go through is really not discussed enough, I try to remain strong, but the burden is wearing me down.

I'm sorry for the rant, I just need get this off my chest. I hope that Defy can figure this out, I have every reason to be hopeful.
I feel for you. I am dealing with my own libido and ED issues as well. Just like you I'm feeling a little bit discouraged. I thought TRT would fix it all, but I'm not there yet. My wife wants to have another child so the pressure is not helping either. I will keep praying that I'll find the right dosage to get me where I need to be. Prayers for you as well, I could hear the pain in your words. Just know that you are not alone, this really is hard for a man to deal with.
 
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