Expriencing severe ED issues, need help

Heads up, long read. Quick background. I'm in my mid 30's, suffered from bad depression in my early twenties which left me on disability for some time. I had ED issues on and off for most of those years. Finally got tested and sure enough my testosterone was in the low 200's. Keep in mind, being low income I am very limited by my insurance as to what doctors I can see and I was not impressed with the way they were prescribing testosterone (200mg ONCE a month, no E2 testing, no HCG). So, although I know not the best idea, desperate times call for desperate measures and I decided to just get some test enanthate, HCG and arimidex/aromasin to have on hand and just start experimenting on my own using resources online.

Over a period of two years I was basically going by feel and I was ok for the most part, I somehow ended up at 200mg per week split into two doses and 6.25mg of RESEARCH CHEMICAL aromasin every day. This was last year and probably the best I've ever felt. Libido was perfect, sex daily without even giving it thought, great energy, great mood. I did have some gyno on one nipple, not noticeable but getting noticeably irritable, which leads me to believe the aromasin may have been way underdosed because that's a fairly hefty dose.

And then everything came crashing down.
A number of things happened all at once:
I went through a very devestating breakup that months later still hurts.
Around this time was when the research chemical ban happened, so I switched to legit pharm. grade aromasin.
Being that i was single, I did a quick two week course of letrozole to knock that gyno out, which it sure did. My libido actually went through the roof while I was on it but of course that was short lived.

I then rested for three weeks and went back on my normal 200mg test with 6.25mg aromasin ED (this time pharm. grade) that had worked perfectly before. This time..... nothing. I went weeks without an erection.

I decided to drop the ai's for a month and just do 200 test and the 250iu HCG twice a week to get a baseline blood reading. Test back at 950 on a trough (injected Monday, Tested Thursday morning prior to injection) and E2 was 30 on a non-sensitive test, meaning it was probably lower. I was actually pretty shocked. Great numbers but still, no erections.

I finally decided to start from scratch and went down to 100mg test per week split into two doses, 250iu HCG in two doses and no AI. I'll be getting Total T, Sensitive E2 and SHBG tested every 4 weeks while I make adjustments. I get my first test this week, I'm excited to have a baseline and curious about my SHBG as the adjustments I make will largely be based around my SHBG number.

Thank you if You read this far.
100mg has been.... ok I guess. I'll sometimes get a mild morning erection but not much else. But all In all I can't perform. I've been with several women that I found very attractive in the past few months and couldn't even get semi-erect even with a full-dose cialis and viagra combo. It's been so humiliating and I really miss having sex.

I was doing perfect last year. Sometimes I wonder if the breakup has such an impact on me that I just can't perform with another woman. Other times I wonder if the research chemical Aromatic was dosed wrong or maybe even something else. All I know is I feel miserable, I've had so many humiliating moments not being able to get any erections with women that I really feel like just being alone, I can't take more embarrassing moments.

I don't know if anyone has any input. Has anyone been through a very rough breakup or divorce and were unable to perform at all afterwards for some time? I keep thinking that's it but a breakup has never affected my sex-drive.

Hi there. Do you have high libido, meaning the urge with those with women? If so, I think it might be psychological. A tough breakup can do it if all else looks good like your T,E2, etc levels. When I was younger, I had ED due to psychological reason after my first divorce. I had the urge and all, but when it came time to perform, even with Viagra, nothing happens. I had to see a therapist, which help fixed everything. Now, being older, I have no libido and other stuff which is determined to be low T. See if you can talk to a therapist and have insurance pay for it. Again, this is just my opinion, I'm no means an expert!

I can tell you anxiety plays a huge role in all this. I have severe performance anxiety and my libido suffers because of it. All it took is one mention of another guy having ED and then I suddenly worried about it happening to me every single time. I agree, get with a therapist or a mental health counselor and get to work on that because it's been 13 years of it for me.

200mg is more than most men can handle long term, I would expect estrogen to become an issue sooner or later.

It appears you don't understand the basics, everytime you change the dosage it takes 6 weeks for testosterone reach a stable state, then you do labs. It may take longer than 6 weeks to feel the full effects of that protocol.

TRT is a slow process and progress is made by being consistent and not constantly making changes to your protocol every couple of weeks. When make changes to my dosages, my gym progress gets put on pause and I notice my muscles don't feel properly sore after a workout until after 6 weeks.

It's almost like muscles aren't getting any benefit from the lifting weights, my point is if you don't spend enough time in a stable state, you will not notice any progress.

It amazes me how many of you waste your time using lower doses of hCG for fear of estradiol. No wonder most of you complain you see no benefit. I read this over and over again almost every day.