Very average testosterone, considering TRT (again)

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Hi all. I appreciate the wisdom I've seen on these boards.

I'm currently debating going back on TRT.

4 years ago I was persuaded, as many can probably relate, by bodybuilding and TRT forums that I had low t. After getting tested it turned out I was on the lower end of the range (~350 naturally, no prior PED experience), and my PCP was open to treatment.

I tried TRT for 6 months and felt fantastic--it fixed my libido, ED, fatigue, low drive, brain fog, anxiety, and depression. But my acne got bad enough that I decided to get off of it and try an HPTA restart. I vaguely hoped it would kick-start my production to average levels. I was prescribed tamoxifen, eventually tapered off, and went on with my life.

Flash forward to today. I'm 34. I meal prep and keep pretty fit (5'10" 183lbs, 305/385/505 B/S/DL). I don't drink, smoke, or use drugs. I sleep at 10pm and wake at 6am. I mediate daily.

Yet despite all this, I just feel... drained. I'm not depressed per se, but all the other old low T symptoms have crept back. I decide to get tested. Imagine my shock when I see this:
  • Total T: 572 ng/dL (Range: 264-916)
  • Free T: 12.4 pg/mL (Range: 8.7-25.1; Labcorp so incorrect units)
That's higher than 4 years ago! How is this possible? Did the HPTA restart work? And if so, why do I feel worse?

I double check my old labs, and to my surprise the blood was drawn at 4pm, when my T would've naturally been at its lowest. For the newest lab, my blood was drawn at 8am.

Now I'm conflicted. I'm smack in the middle of the range, and was probably even higher 4 years ago when I tried TRT. Yet TRT helped me tremendously with my symptoms. I also suspect that the acne, my main reason for stopping treatment, was largely due to dairy consumption (6 scoops whey/day at the time) and injection protocol (250mg Nebido every 2 weeks). Since cutting dairy, my acne dropped from post-PCT levels to zero.

I know TRT is a serious, lifetime commitment, with potential complications and risks. But I also know how amazing I felt for those 6 months.

I guess my question is, does anyone have any similar experiences, or wisdom to share around this? Given my levels, I guess I fall under "seeking optimization" rather than "hypogonadal". But the symptom relief from TRT was so drastic, that I'm hard pressed not to try it again.
 
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