lookingforhelp
New Member
A little bit of background. Originally I was unsure of whether alot of my symptoms were a result of a head injury or the use of Saw Palmetto. After being on TRT for some time along with HCG and by bloodwork supposedly being dialled in I am contemplating coming off as I believe I have some sort of PFS.
Things TRT improved:
My ability to sleep better has improved. I can now fall asleep easily or easier should I say than before TRT. I was stuck in this constant wired mode before. Unfortunately now I just feel tired all the time. I just want to sit and sleep or watch TV. Initially I had a boost in energy and now that has worn away. I wake up tired still and dont have much motivation to work out or anything. So i have gone from this wired tired state to just plain tired now.
In the first week or so I felt strong and masculine and my ability to get aroused was significantly improved. Erections seemed fuller and sensitivity was improved.
TRT has restored my orgasms to a more intense state. Before they were not very powerful or enjoyable.
I am growing alot of body hair and it is going very dark.
My penis feels more healthy, it felt shrivelled and uncomfortable before.
I felt more confident the first week of TRT, thats now disappeared.
My hips do not crack and hurt all the time anymore, joints feel stronger.
Bad Things:
As mentioned above, I feel tired all the time.
I also feel depressed in ways. I have a lack of enjoyment in life. I believe the term is anhedonia? I find it hard to motivate myself. I used to love playing music but now rarely pick up a guitar or instrument anymore and when I do I just feel foggy headed and unable to focus.
I have been suffering RESTLESS LEGS. Its extremely uncomfortable and comes and goes throughout the day. It is usually with me in the mornings and evenings and makes an appearance at lunch too. I have read alot of guys saying TRT cured their restless legs. TRT did this for the first week for me.
I still do not have much of a libido. It comes and goes in tiny flutters but does not last long.
My erections are not that great again compared to what they were when I first started TRT. During the whole process I have not enjoyed any spontaneous erections.
Morning wood and night wood is there but weak. The first week on TRT it was good morning wood which stayed with me when I went to pee.
Hair loss. I am experiencing faster recession than before which I am not thrilled with to be honest. I figured hair was worth sacrificing to be well but i dont see the point in continuing TRT, losing my hair and still feeling like shit.
I am growing thick body hair on back and ass cheeks so 5 alpha reductase must be working to an extent.
I feel anxious occasionally in social situations and feel like my body is crashing. I cannot drink alcohol as for some reason it now gives me horrible insomnia. Never used to do this before I got ill.
I think my main issue is DOPAMINE. The only time I recovered spontaneous erections and libido was early on in my illness when I tried cabergoline to lower my prolactin. My prolactin was hovering above the 20 nmol/l mark for a lot of the time. Since TRT that has lowered. When I initially took cabergoline it was great but this usually only lasts a couple of weeks then symptoms are back. I have had every single test imaginable hormonally. I originally went down the Thyroid adrenal root. All of that is optimal. My hormones all now appear to be optimal. I am currently on 100mg of Testosterone Enanthate a week (sunday) and 250ius HCG x2 a week (tues, fri).
I am unsure what route to take to be honest. I want to be well again and enjoy life but this whole deal with my health is making life pretty miserable.
I have been having issues with suicidal ideation. I think this stems down to the fact I am so unwell in myself. I do not want to be labelled as some sort of mental patient as Drs would label me. Yes, granted, I am sure I have a chemical imbalance in my brain but its starting to look like it may be Post Finasteride syndrome or something. Not just simply cured by an SSRI like Drs seem to want to give me. It took a lot of persuading to get a Dr to help me and the fact I am still not better makes me feel extremely sad. If i try and speak to a DR it will be a case of I told you so and more people telling me there is nothing wrong with me.
I am at a loss of which way to turn and who to go to. I cannot go to Drs as they do not seem to care. I cannot tell my family of these things because they will be too upset. All I have is this forum.
I do not want to die, I want to be well but this illness makes me feel trapped and like the last bit of control I have is my own fate. Jeeze this is heavy. Ive always cringed at reading stuff like this post because I am normally one to push through and keep optimistic! I dont know, today is not a good day.
Here are my bloods which as you can see are pretty optimal right now.
Some blood that I had done privately:
DHT: 1.590 nmol/l (0.34-2.06)
E2 finger prick: 69 pmol/l (<192)
E2 Venous sample: 99 pmol/l ( <192)
E2 NHS : 138 pmol/l (<130)
The E2 blood tests were all done at the same time by an NHS nurse. The two other E2 tests were sent to a private lab. I wanted to really get to the bottom of all this E2 hype regarding TRT. I thought maybe it was the missing link to my symptoms? But as you can see, the difference in the tests is a joke. Finger prick tests are in my opinion completely and utterly useless!
I dont know if I have some sort of Dopamine receptor issue. The depression and the focus, foggy thinking the restless legs, the lack of ambition. Its like TRT worked breifly, just like cabergoline does, then it fades back to nothing.
Anyone with some input would be great.
I should add I am lean and optimal weight, do not drink, smoke or drink caffeine. I do not eat gluten and try to avoid all inflammatory foods. I do not eat anything processed, only fresh fruit vegetables and meat. A lot of fish and seafood especially salmon.
Things TRT improved:
My ability to sleep better has improved. I can now fall asleep easily or easier should I say than before TRT. I was stuck in this constant wired mode before. Unfortunately now I just feel tired all the time. I just want to sit and sleep or watch TV. Initially I had a boost in energy and now that has worn away. I wake up tired still and dont have much motivation to work out or anything. So i have gone from this wired tired state to just plain tired now.
In the first week or so I felt strong and masculine and my ability to get aroused was significantly improved. Erections seemed fuller and sensitivity was improved.
TRT has restored my orgasms to a more intense state. Before they were not very powerful or enjoyable.
I am growing alot of body hair and it is going very dark.
My penis feels more healthy, it felt shrivelled and uncomfortable before.
I felt more confident the first week of TRT, thats now disappeared.
My hips do not crack and hurt all the time anymore, joints feel stronger.
Bad Things:
As mentioned above, I feel tired all the time.
I also feel depressed in ways. I have a lack of enjoyment in life. I believe the term is anhedonia? I find it hard to motivate myself. I used to love playing music but now rarely pick up a guitar or instrument anymore and when I do I just feel foggy headed and unable to focus.
I have been suffering RESTLESS LEGS. Its extremely uncomfortable and comes and goes throughout the day. It is usually with me in the mornings and evenings and makes an appearance at lunch too. I have read alot of guys saying TRT cured their restless legs. TRT did this for the first week for me.
I still do not have much of a libido. It comes and goes in tiny flutters but does not last long.
My erections are not that great again compared to what they were when I first started TRT. During the whole process I have not enjoyed any spontaneous erections.
Morning wood and night wood is there but weak. The first week on TRT it was good morning wood which stayed with me when I went to pee.
Hair loss. I am experiencing faster recession than before which I am not thrilled with to be honest. I figured hair was worth sacrificing to be well but i dont see the point in continuing TRT, losing my hair and still feeling like shit.
I am growing thick body hair on back and ass cheeks so 5 alpha reductase must be working to an extent.
I feel anxious occasionally in social situations and feel like my body is crashing. I cannot drink alcohol as for some reason it now gives me horrible insomnia. Never used to do this before I got ill.
I think my main issue is DOPAMINE. The only time I recovered spontaneous erections and libido was early on in my illness when I tried cabergoline to lower my prolactin. My prolactin was hovering above the 20 nmol/l mark for a lot of the time. Since TRT that has lowered. When I initially took cabergoline it was great but this usually only lasts a couple of weeks then symptoms are back. I have had every single test imaginable hormonally. I originally went down the Thyroid adrenal root. All of that is optimal. My hormones all now appear to be optimal. I am currently on 100mg of Testosterone Enanthate a week (sunday) and 250ius HCG x2 a week (tues, fri).
I am unsure what route to take to be honest. I want to be well again and enjoy life but this whole deal with my health is making life pretty miserable.
I have been having issues with suicidal ideation. I think this stems down to the fact I am so unwell in myself. I do not want to be labelled as some sort of mental patient as Drs would label me. Yes, granted, I am sure I have a chemical imbalance in my brain but its starting to look like it may be Post Finasteride syndrome or something. Not just simply cured by an SSRI like Drs seem to want to give me. It took a lot of persuading to get a Dr to help me and the fact I am still not better makes me feel extremely sad. If i try and speak to a DR it will be a case of I told you so and more people telling me there is nothing wrong with me.
I am at a loss of which way to turn and who to go to. I cannot go to Drs as they do not seem to care. I cannot tell my family of these things because they will be too upset. All I have is this forum.
I do not want to die, I want to be well but this illness makes me feel trapped and like the last bit of control I have is my own fate. Jeeze this is heavy. Ive always cringed at reading stuff like this post because I am normally one to push through and keep optimistic! I dont know, today is not a good day.
Here are my bloods which as you can see are pretty optimal right now.
Some blood that I had done privately:
DHT: 1.590 nmol/l (0.34-2.06)
E2 finger prick: 69 pmol/l (<192)
E2 Venous sample: 99 pmol/l ( <192)
E2 NHS : 138 pmol/l (<130)
The E2 blood tests were all done at the same time by an NHS nurse. The two other E2 tests were sent to a private lab. I wanted to really get to the bottom of all this E2 hype regarding TRT. I thought maybe it was the missing link to my symptoms? But as you can see, the difference in the tests is a joke. Finger prick tests are in my opinion completely and utterly useless!
I dont know if I have some sort of Dopamine receptor issue. The depression and the focus, foggy thinking the restless legs, the lack of ambition. Its like TRT worked breifly, just like cabergoline does, then it fades back to nothing.
Anyone with some input would be great.
I should add I am lean and optimal weight, do not drink, smoke or drink caffeine. I do not eat gluten and try to avoid all inflammatory foods. I do not eat anything processed, only fresh fruit vegetables and meat. A lot of fish and seafood especially salmon.
