Mental Health Question

[audiogeek247]

I just did my third injection last night. Biweekly at 80mg of T cypionate and .5 of HCG. I really have never felt more down or loss of motivation in my life. Everything feels very dull. I was on a PCT of HCG and Clomid before this for three weeks and my free T was at 6.6 and my total was 256, I'm 29. I have all the clinical signs of extreme depression, which I haven't felt for ages. I am starting to think suicidal as well in thought, like whats the point to all this, nothing matters. I don't even want to work or have sex and I usually at least like those activities. I tried working out like normal but I did three exercises poorly without enthusiasm and then developed a bad cramp in the ass of the leg I injected in. All I want to do is eat poorly and drink. This is not like me at all and I don't know what to do. Can you have high T which I supposedly have now, yet have all these depression signs? I felt amazing for awhile on Androgel, but lifestyle keeping up with it couldn't last. Thanks.

 

[a_crossfitter]

Have you checked your Estrogen levels?

What is your normal routine like?
What do you eat?
What do you drink?

I want to eat pizza and drink beer in every meal, but the reality is that they make me fee like shit. So I don't eat pizza or drink beer. I am actually just starting to eat sweet potatoes and chicken and feel better. I also do not like to sleep because I feel 1/3 of our lives is wasted sleeping. But, if I don't sleep I feel like shit too! So I sleep!

Its all about whats more important to you!

Thinking about ending your life? I don't know you but I sure do not want to die! I just watched Chappie and Exmachina and would really like to live forever if my conscious could be uploaded to a machine!

I have dirt bikes (2015 husqvarna fe501s, 2015 husqvarna tc250, and a 2013 yamaha wr250r), a street bike (2013 yzf-r1), just bought a 2015 yamaha sx192 boat, just got a puppy from the pound, am paying off my vehicle soon, have a gf thats insaciable with sex (seriously!), ..............I can keep going on. LIFE IS GREAT audiogeek247! Get your head out of your ass and start doing things to live life to its fullest!

I used to feel just like you (minus the suicidal thoughts) until I started looking at what I was eating and how my lifestyle was. Started adjusting meds and reading a lot here.

Hows your sleep?

 

[audiogeek247]

Thanks crossfitter, this is not how I felt on Androgel I wanted to destroy my gf and was enjoying a lot of different things. My sleep is currently okay, better than when I was on Androgel honestly. I drink water, all I had yesterday was a greek yogurt/small slice of salmon, half of a grassfed steak, and unfortunately a cheesecake at the end compliments of my gf. Eating bad for me is not getting enough vegetables in a day, but I don't eat bad by any means. I love vegetables fruit and meats. I try to stay away from any kind of refined carbs. My E2 levels were 6.6 hypersensitive before I started injecting so I assuming they are already coming up by now since I stopped taking any anti Es. I'm hoping this new therapy just takes awhile to show benefits...but I feel even worse than when I was on Clomid.

 

[Gene Devine]

Need a complete and thorough blood work done including a full hormonal panel.

Something is off clearly and only blood work will tell you the truth.

 

[Vince Carter]

Full blood work but stay the course on your meds, dosing, and frequency. You've started on the right path and you don't want to undo that. You're 1.5 weeks(?) in to it. I think that this is the low time...the old it gets worse before it gets better analogy. I think you're just at the breakpoint where your body has stopped producing T and is adjusting to the injections. I think most feel this period, you just stick with it. Get bloods @ four weeks, TT, FT, Sensitive E2, and SHBG.

 

[CoastWatcher]

Are you working with someone, therapy,min regard to what you called suicidal thoughts?

 

[Vince Carter]

sounds like me pre-trt, I was in some dark places and was very close to asking for help when I visited my Dr and said "I just don't feel well..."....no way was I going to use the "D" word, but...I turned a corner pretty quick but it really took time to get out in the sun again, as it were.

 

[James]

Audiogeek - I felt the same way. Horrible depressed while on TRT, way worse than before. Do you have low SHBG? What is your E2? E2 was the problem for me I think.

 

[Pacman]

Can you have high T which I supposedly have now, yet have all these depression signs?

Yes!! You know that T levels are not the only factor that determines the way how depressed or happy you feel. The inability to enjoy otherwise very enjoyable activities could very well be related to low dopamine levels/responses; i.e. the "pleasure hormone". You could have high T, but at the same time high E (ironically, many times this is due to the high T, because of T-to-E conversion) - which could lead to moodiness and depression as well. I would definitely check these factors..

Another factor I suggest you take into consideration is the change in protocol. Your T levels are less stable on a daily basis since you switched to shots. Androgel keep levels stable since you apply it every day. Shots increase your T levels high within a day or so, and the T level slowly decreases as the days pass. Not everyone reacts well to this change in protocol. How long have you been on it? I can tell you that personally, when I switched over to Cypionate from Androgel, I went through hell the first 6-7 days. Is this right at the beginning of your new protocol?

Also, you are on a bi-weekly protocol. So... Are you on high enough of a dosage? And should you really be injecting every two weeks? Why not weekly to keep levels more stable?

But bottom line, everything I wrote above is worthless without blood tests.. Run a complete blood test, including a metabolic panel (thyroid functioning + blood glucose levels also affect how you feel about things) so we can get a fuller picture of what's going on... Right now this is a guessing game with a bunch of educated guesses...

 

[dallas101346]

TRT IM injections cause HUGE swings in hormones bro. Give it some time. I would check E2 maybe even prolactin, thyroid etc..

 

[CoastWatcher]

But bottom line, everything I wrote above is worthless without blood tests.. Run a complete blood test, including a metabolic panel (thyroid functioning + blood glucose levels also affect how you feel about things) so we can get a fuller picture of what's going on... Right now this is a guessing game with a bunch of educated guesses...

Absolutely true. Managing a TRT protocol without testing regularly is like driving in a storm without wipers or headlights. I'd urge you to investigate self-testing, it's economical and straightforward.